i'm not going to heaven {{O P E N [graphicish]

[ANTONIO MONTAGUE]

{ i ' m }{ n o t }{ c r a z y }

{ i }{ s w e a r }{ i t }

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Nothing. Antonio couldn't hear anything. Not even the sound of someone breathing. Not even the sounds of the night. There was only utter silence. Mind you, there probably was noise, he just wasn't hearing it. He wasn't even thinking, he was just doing. Moving slowly through the grounds dressed in the same outfit he'd put on that morning. The only difference being a pen knife he'd snuck out of the pocket of an unsuspecting guard. His movements were jarred makin him stumble and trip more than he normally would in the dark. It was clear that he wasn't thinking.

Toni not thinking wasn't anything new, after all he was a slave, did slaves even need to think? Probably not, but that wasn't the point. Toni honestly wasn't thinking this time as he made his way into the old abandoned warehouse. As far as his instincts knew, no one would be here. He didn't even look around himself to check as he breathed in the smell of alcohol and sex. For a moment he stilled before he did make a sound. Just one long and loud sound. He screamed. He didn't know why, he just did. But the scream triggered something in him. No sooner did the first syllable leave his mouth than he flipped out the blade of the penknife.

The first place he targeted were his bare arms, hacking at them with the small blade. Blood splarted everywhere but didn't seem to phase him. Instead it only urged him on. He began to attack his torso with the blade, not stopping until the shirt fell into tatters around him, no longer one solid bit of fabric. His eyes appeared glazed as he stared down at his bleeding body. The spanish boy's hand twitched on the blade he held before he moved it to his face. Slowly, almost delicately, he sliced two lines in each cheek before he staggered back against a wall as a sudden nauseous feeling over came him.

It was then he remembered that he hadn't eaten that day. The bloodloss was effecting him faster. He closed his eyes and moved the once-silver now-red blade to his neck. He licked the blood from the corner of his mouth, the blood that had dripped from his cheeks, before he pressed the sharp metal against the flesh of his neck, just below his collar. He gasped slightly, his human senses slowly returning as he slowly pulled the blade along his pale flesh. He shuddered slightly and opened his eyes, glancing around himself now to make sure no one was there. Though, he doubted anyone was there as he was still slicing himself apart bit by tiny little bit.

Seeing no one clearly he removed the blade from his neck, letting the wound slowly trickle blood as he looked down at the stained item. Taking quick breathes he slowly ran the blade down his torso, his hand twitching with urges to stab before he opened his mouth and placed the tip of the blade inside. Closing his eyes he sliced it across his tongue and twisted it, nicking the inside of his mouth. Again he screamed, the penknife clattering to the floor as he dropped to his knees, spitting out the blood that filled his mouth. Quickly he slid the knife across the ground to hide it before he rested back against the wall. Now all he had to do was wait and bleed out.

{ i t ' s }{ n o t }{ m y }{ f a u l t}
{ i }{ d i d n ' t }{ d o }{ i t }

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[FELIX STEFAN ZIMMERMAN]

IN THE NIGHT, CALL YOU UP AND
and wanna know when youre coming home

His white eye shot open as the sound of a scream woke him up. He jumped, looking for the source of the noise, his hand reaching for the lamp he kept up in the loft where he slept. The German boy watched the commotion that the young boy below caused before he realized what was going on. He was trying to off himself. Shit. This was no good. Felix would surely be blamed if he died. His eye got even wider as he raked his brain to determine what the hell he should do before he finally jumped down, using the boxes as ledges.

He took a few steps closer to the boy before unwrapping the gauze from his face, using his teeth to pull it into several strips, the first one going around his neck. "V-vat are you doink..? Vy in de hell are you tryink to kill yourself?" His voice, though it was raised, was raised in worry. He looked back up to his loft before jumping back up there, tossing down more and more rolls of gauze he swiped from the doctor's office. He shoved two small plastic containers, one with bees-balm leaves and another with aloe vera, into his pocket and climbed back down, praying that the boy wouldn't despise him for saving his life.

For once in his life, Felix didn't care that this boy was probably staring right at his bad side, which was where the small amount of light was hitting. "Just... let me help you.." He sighed deeply, rubbing the oil from the leaves across the cuts on his arms, covering them before doing the same to his torso. Well, shit. This boy really wanted to finish himself off. He didn't put any oil on the boy's face, and instead wrapped a single layer across his nose... his mouth would be a different story though.

Felix bit his lip and did the only thing he could do. He pressed his lips to this tresspasser's, coaxing his tongue into his mouth so he could somewhat suck the wound closed. As he did so, Felix's mind was wandering to Tav... had it not been for that boy, he would be too afraid to help this one. Perhaps this boy wouldn't think of the German as being too monstrous. Perhaps Felix's efforts wouldn't be all in vain. He tried not to focus on the taste of the blood, else he'd end up puking. That would be bad.

........
Outfit: here
Words:
Tagged: Toni!
Lyrics: the girl and the robot . royksopp
Notes:
Felix's emotions: FUCK FUCK GOTTA HELP THIS BOY.
Credit: RAWR?! of cautionalso known as kali of nevermore. do not remove credit.

[ANTONIO MONTAGUE]

{ i ' m }{ n o t }{ c r a z y }

{ i }{ s w e a r }{ i t }

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Toni hadn't noticed anyone else in the building with him. He didn't know that someone had managed to escape the guards watchful eyes and make a room up in here. Part of Toni would love to do the same. But then the thought of being here alone with no sex put him off it. It was better in the actual asylum where someone could just creep up on him and fuck him raw at any one time. It was normal to him, to just be grabbed and fucked. Most of the time, he didn't even know the other mans name. But what did it matter? It was just sex.

That's what he was thinking about as he sat there slowly dying, his eyes half-closed giving him a dead-like appearance. He wasn't dead, not yet no, but he was slowly getting there. He didn't stir until he heard the other's voice. His eyes shot open as he stared up at Felix, seeing the other's approach. He squirmed slightly as the other began wrapping the strips around his neck. "Fuck, you're not meant to stop me!" he bit out before turning to turn his head to spit out the blood that had gathered once again.

"Just fuck me!" he groaned after the other. His eyes followed Felix as the german boy made his way up to the loft area. For a moment his brows furrowed before he attmpted to try and pull himself up, at the same time as he tried to remove the strip from his neck. Logically he failed, a slight moaning sound coming from him as his head hit the wall when he collapsed back down. Fun. He wasn't meant to be feeling. He was meant to be dying. Wasn't he? He could feel the blood that covered his upper body.

He could feel it, he could taste it, but he didn't remember how it had happened. Clearly the last thing he'd done in whatever trance he'd been in was dispose of the evidence, in other words the penknife. He watched as the other returned with the medical items and groaned in complaint. A curse rolled off his tongue in a breath of air, "Shit." he breathed before watching as the other applied the oil to his bleeding arms. He pulled a face at the feel of it, his body tensing as the other's touches moved to his torso.

His mind was registering such acts as sex, even when he was in this state. Again he moaned before his eyelids fluttered as the wounds on his cheeks were covered. It felt weird, but not in a bad way. But he knew he must look a sight. Kind of like Felix, only funny. Though of course, he wasn't one to comment on the appearance of others faces. Not if they had something worthwhile to Antonio. His eyes widened at the surprise kiss, though he of course allowed it, focusing now on keeping his body awake.

{ i t ' s }{ n o t }{ m y }{ f a u l t}
{ i }{ d i d n ' t }{ d o }{ i t }

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[FELIX STEFAN ZIMMERMAN]

IN THE NIGHT, CALL YOU UP AND
and wanna know when youre coming home

Listening to the boy talk only made Felix's heart sink. "I am not goink to let somevan die vere I live. I am not dat much of a monster." He frowned deeply, his white eye holding only empathy. He was in that boy's boat not long ago. He was nothing short of confused, though, at his request. Felix wasn't like that, he just wanted to help the boy. He stood up and held onto his hand, helping him up, over to the boxes to get to the loft that Felix called home.

Admittedly, Felix wasn't strong. But this boy that was bleeding and moaning everywhere wasn't heavy. His wide, white eye was glistening somewhat as he struggled to keep his footing as he attempted to steady the boy. He finally made it up himself, before leaning down and pulling the other up. "You don't vant to fuck me. I am a monster.." He frowned and grabbed some food from the mini-fridge that also housed bottles of different creams and various herbal remedies. Felix was very self-sufficient, which easily classified him as a loner. As long as he had his guitar...

He looked back at the boy and gave him a small cup of milk, which would hopefully calm the bleeding. "I vas... I vas your position... not long ago..." His voice was quiet as he took a sip from his own cup. "I am Felix, by de vay... Felix Zimmerman." He attempted a friendly smile, using a thumb to gently wipe some blood off of his cheek.

........
Outfit: here
Words:
Tagged: Toni!
Lyrics: the girl and the robot . royksopp
Notes:
Felix's emotions: FUCK FUCK GOTTA HELP THIS BOY.
Credit: RAWR?! of cautionalso known as kali of nevermore. do not remove credit.

[ANTONIO MONTAGUE]

{ i ' m }{ n o t }{ c r a z y }

{ i }{ s w e a r }{ i t }

[/color][/size]

Toni could have quite happily sat there until morning, or whenever. Seriously. He really didn't want to move. He din't want Felix to tend to his wounds either, but he didn't have the strength left in him to fight back against the other. He'd lost too much blood already. "You're not a monster at all~" Toni grinned before forcing his arm up to clasp hands with the other. Once Felix had helped him up he stumbled, his grip tightening on the other.

Yeah, that was something he shouldn't have done. He groaned, refusing to move until the dizzy feeling subsided once more. He smiled a little to himself before letting Felix lead him up into the loft area, though he felt sure that he would fall.However he made no sound as he allowed Felix to pull him into the loft area, his gaze drifting around. He chuckled at what the other said. "I only like being fucked by monsters, Master" he smirked, but it only lasted a short time, the tireness ebbing at him once again.

He watched as the other moved over to the mini fridge, his eyes instantly spotting the food. His stomach growled reminding him once again that he hadn't eaten all day. He groaned in annoyance, placing a wounded hand upon his wounded stomach, trying to get it to shut up to no avail. He blinked at the offered cup of milk before taking it from the other. "Thank you." he muttered softly, sipping at the white liquid. He tilted his head at what Felix said before grinning stupidly. "What position? Found bleeding by a stranger when you don't even know why you're bleeding~?"

A chuckle sounded through ihm after his words before he slowly finished his milk, squirming at the thumb on his cheek. "I'm Antonio Montague. But most people call me Toni or Babybitch." he nodded as he began fiddling with his empty cup. Turning it in his hands, first quickly, then slowly, watching the three drops left to see when they would fall out. It was childish and messy, but it kept him entertained.

{ i t ' s }{ n o t }{ m y }{ f a u l t}
{ i }{ d i d n ' t }{ d o }{ i t }

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