Still Alive {Dustin}

[MAYUMI FAEY KIMURA]

Mayumi dint need to use the bathroom, but she did need to remind herself how fat she was before she decided to eat. She opened the door and walked over to the mirror. She looked at her small frame, she was so thin around 105 pounds now. She remembered when she had once weighed about 140 pounds. She conjured up the image in her head and almost puked. She was such a fat person, she remembered that when you looked at her pictures she had been so thin then she got fat. She was a cutie kid but then she turned into a gross fatty. She once went a whole year without getting her picture taken because she was so fat.

When she was 16 she had tried to stop eating but she had no control. She would not eat all day but at dinner time she would always stuff her face, then feel bad about it. So from ages 16 to 17 she was a bulimic. But after she turned 17 she had finally worked up the will to just not eat. She was about to turn 18, on the 16th of May to be exact. It was only a few days away then she would get out of this hell hole and then she could save more money because she wouldn't need to buy food. She understood the risks about the distorter she dint give a flying fuck. She loved telling people off with that certain set of F words. So as she looked in the mirror she heard a sound. It sounded like vomiting, so she turned her attention to the line of stalls.

"H-Hello...?" She whispered as she walked toward the stall. She found the stall where the sound was coming from. She expected a girl or a woman when she opened the door. But instead she found a boy, or a man she wasn't sure. All she knew was that this was a male and not a female. She felt the color drain from her face. She wasn't sure what to expect. She figured he must have gotten hurt quite badly because their was no way this guy was puking to get rid of weight or something. That just wasn't for guys...Was it? She watched him quietly for a few moments before speaking softly, A-Are...Are you ok?" She looked at him with soft warming eyes. They were a soft shade of green-gray today because she put in her gray contacts. She usually never wore her regular glasses around school. She usually only wore them when reading in her dorm room alone.

[DUSTIN SKY HALLIDAY]

Dustin had gone out to eat. He was lucky enough to have money for Chinese food. In fact, he was ecstatic about the fact that he just ate. The won ton soup was amazing. It filled his stomach until his hearts delight. He was lucky he was one of the people at the asylum who could go out and get Chinese food since, well, his conditions weren't as serious as others. So, walking out from Hanley Mall with a full stomach he headed right back to the asylum. And into the bathroom.

He stood there, smiling in the mirror. Lifting his shirt up, his smile disappeared. He was bloated. And he knew that he should just let the blotation wear off. But he couldn't just stand there and do that. He was fat enough without the bloating, right? He let his shirt slide down as he walked into one of the stalls. Taking off his bracelets and such, he put them in his front pocket. Then, he leaned over the toilet. Dustin didn't have a tooth brush so he'd have no choice but to use his finger or to some how make himself start gagging. He had just eaten a lot so he needed to get rid of it some how. This was all on schedule.

He was in the middle of puking when he heard someone come in. He moved his finger taking a breath. Or maybe they had already been in there? Why else would she say hello? He decided to puke one last time as he heard her coming over. He jumped slightly when she opened the door, looking over at it. Why was is some crazy girl was concerned? Nothing was wrong with him. He didn't have any problems..but as he glanced over at the toilet, he realized the image. She wouldn't be able to understand. He felt over weight but only sometimes. Other times, he could just look in the mirror and look back at himself, seeing the fat.

Dustin knew this was the only thing to make sure he was there, real, some how barely alive. Seeing his insides come out assured him he was standing and still actually eating. So maybe he wasn't okay. Or maybe he didn't know because he'd only know if he was there. The image of himself and her in the stall stained his mind. Where the hell was he when seeing all this? "Oh, yeah, I'm fine! I was just feeling a bit sick. Sorry if I had disturbed you," he replied, gentle smile casted toward her.

His depersonalization disorder was still undiagnosed here.

[MAYUMI FAEY KIMURA]

She felt her hands move down her stomach and then over her hips. She was sure that the guy who got sick in the bathroom, was thinking to himself how fat she was. She blushed and stepped out of the stall. "Oh! Well I hope your ok...If-If you need any help I would be happy to help. Do you need anything?" She was concerned about him because he was sick, she dint want others to be sick. She realized he must have just eaten, so she assumed he had gotten food poisoning. "Um...Im Mayumi by the way..." She turned and walked back over to the mirror.

She looked at her frame once again, stick thin arms, bony hips, sunken stomach, and a face that could use a little more meat. She was wearing a tank top and booty shorts so she could get a good look at her body. She usually wore bigger clothes because she dint want people to know about her disorder. She pulled on her black hoodie and a pair of dark gray sweat-pants. Covering her scars and making it seem that she was of a healthy weight for her height of 5 feet and almost 2 inches. She had planed to look at herself for longer but being that someone else was in the bathroom she dint want them to see her body.

She looked behind her into the stall, her soft green-gray eyes trying to figure out what had happened to the boy to make him so sick. She sat on the floor outside the stall, and waited for him to come out. She wanted to make sure he was feeling better, so she closed her eyes and waited.

[DUSTIN SKY HALLIDAY]

She, Mayumi, had blushed. Why had she blushed? Odd. But, he didn't need any help. Actually, he was starting to think maybe claiming he was sick wouldn't have mattered. Just telling her he made himself puke would have probably been okay since, well, everyone had their problems here. But, he had worried her enough. Would it worry her less if he had told her the truth? Why trouble her?

He stuck his finger down his throat one last time as she went back to the mirror, puking once more until breathing a bit heavily. He felt a bit uncomfortable puking around her, or anyone in fact, so he left the stall, going over to the sink and rinsing mouth out. He then washed his hands, thinking about the meal he had before. Rinsing his face off as well, he turned around. He took the bracelets out of his pocket, some made out of thread or rope, even a few with peace signs intertwined in them, putting them back on his wrists. He looked down at her and smiled, now ready to talk some more.

"Dustin Halliday. You can call me Sky if you'd like. That's my middle name and nickname," he said to introduce himself, now messing around a bit and bowing. You could hear the gentleness in his voice as he held out his hand to help her up. On the spot he gave off the image of a sweet guy, nothing like some of the other jack asses around here. "And, I should be fine. It seemed I'm feeling better. Thank you for your concern," eyes showing a bright gleam in them, happy to meet her.

Mayumi didn't seem too much younger than him. If anything, nothing more than two or three years, right? He hoped so. She seemed nice enough. He tilted his head but barely, only to move a bit of hair out of his face. He was wearing a big plain faded white shirt. The shirt was slit around the center at the top with at least 4 buttons that were unbuttoned. The collar was popped up a bit and his sleeves were rolled up, one only to his elbow, the other one past. He wore dark blue skinny jeans with a small hole on his right leg near the top in them. The brown belt wasn't tucked into the loops on his jeans all the way either.

"Have you been here for a while now?" he asked, not meaning to offend her or anything.

[MAYUMI FAEY KIMURA]

She took his hand when he helped her up off of the floor. "So Dustin, er um...Sky. You can call me Mayumi or Mayu. Its my most common nickname." She smiled at him, she liked his outfit and that was was nice to her. She flicked her bangs out of her eyes and looked at him. She was glad he was feeling better. He was taller than her but then again everyone was, but he seemed to only be a year or so older than her. "I haven't been here for long...I just came in here to look at something..." She squeezed her right hand and flinched slightly at the pain, smiling. Her hand was almost healed but it was still sore.

She smiled up at him her eyes glinting with kindness. "So...Sky, thats a very nice name by the way, I really do hope your feeling better." She chewed on the left corner of her bottom lip. She looked down at her feet then back up at him. She crossed her arms over her stomach. "I'm sorry I don't look nicer...I wasn't expecting to see anyone else today or even in here for that matter.." She felt her cheeks grow warm and turned to look at herself in the mirror. She also watched him from the mirror as she turned on the faucet. She pushed her sleeves up to wash her hands, and if you looked close enough you would see the small white edges of scars that ran along the undersides of both arms. She washed her hands because she was worried about her right hand getting infected.

She dried her hands then looked at Sky, pulling her sleeves back down. "So....Your a musician right?" She was usually good at telling clicks apart, but then again...Sky had that whole rocker thing going on for himself. She smiled warmly at him, he was kinda cutie but she just wanted to be his friend. If he wanted to be her friend, he seemed very nice and so not an ass hole like CJ. Out of all they guys she had met at Stanford CJ was the only jerk. "So...Why were you thrown in here?" Myself they put me in here for my own saftey...Trying to kill yourself freaks people out I guess...I mean I don't want to die anymore but I'm still here...I guess they think I wont ever get better...I was hoping to be out by my 18th birthday, but I doubt I will out of here in 14 days." She sighed then looked at herself in the mirror quickly. She turned back to Sky hoping that she hadn't talked his ear off.

[DUSTIN SKY HALLIDAY]

Look at something? He was a bit curious about it but he wouldn't question. That wasn't his business. he loved how concerned she was but who was it that she was concerned for? Someone that probably looked dead? If he didn't look it he was surely surprised 'cause he felt it. He was having another one of those episodes as he watched the scene from somewhere else. But, he wouldn't make this obvious. How could someone so dead make is obvious?

He grinned, only that faded when she made the comment about looks. He was the fat one, not her. She had nothing to worry about. She seemed to look nice enough. "I'm sure you always look nice so don't worry about it," he complimented, smile back on his face. He noticed her scars and oddly enough it made him feel bad. She had to have her reasons for them. But, it was another thing he wouldn't question.

Dustin was definitely not a musician. Sure, he had musical talents, but he was not a musician. "Artist," he replied, that smile still plastered to his face. He took a step closer to her when she turned back to him. His eyes widened slightly, a bit excited. A birthday? Birthdays were wonderful! "I'll sing you Happy Birthday on the 18th then," implying guitar with his hand movements of an acoustic air guitar.

And why he was in here...it was apparently time to be honest. He wasn't diagnosed with his depersonalization disorder on his papers. So he'd tell her what he was diagnosed with. "Oh, i'm here because of my brother. He decided it'd be best if I was out in here because of my bulimia. He's also hoping maybe it'll stop my constant nightmare disorder thing," he replied, saying it just as casually as any other sentence would be.

[MAYUMI FAEY KIMURA]

Mayumi blushed when he told her she looked nice. A look of shock washed over her face quickly when he tole her he was an artist. "Oh...Im usually good at guessing..." She chewed on the bottom left hand corner of her lip. She looked at him and blushed, and smiled while biting her lip. "Would you really sing me Happy Birthday?" She couldn't remember the last time she had a party, or presents, or even heard those two words. She had been to party's and given presents and sang the song. But when it was her turn most just forgot. She laughed lightly, "It would be a nice change." She kicked the bathroom floor gently, and looked at her feet. She looked at the both of them in the mirror and giggled, "You know you really do have the musician look going for you...Im considered an emo..." She watched her lips twist into a kind of smirk, and hugged herself tightly.

She nodded as he told her his reasons for being here. So a bulemic...She had never met one, especially one that was a man. "Oh I'm a depressed bi-polar, I also cut, and I have anorexia..." She wrapped her arms around her waist and looked at him, she hadn't been diagnosed with her multiple personality distorter at this point in time. She smiled weakly and spoke again, "Do...Do you enjoy being here?" She turned back to him, and looked him in the eyes. She felt about to cry but she was never going to cry in front of a man. She would run from the room if she had to. "This place actually scares me sometimes...I don't think I'm cray...But some people really do need the help they give here..." She rubbed her arms as if she was cold.

She took a step toward him, she felt like being held. In a hug, she hadn't had anyone hug her in many months before showing up here. Once she arrived everyone avoided to small girl dressed in black. She looked at Sky and smiled. She hoped they could be friends...He seemed like a good person who would make a best friend. She stepped away because they were kind of close and she dint want to make him feel weird or bad or anything. She leaned against the counter and began to talk, trying not to cry. "So what else do you do? I can tell that you play guitar, but what else? I draw and write...I also sing, but I don't think I'm any good...I did once make a cover CD of like five songs...My parents think I'm good. But don't all parents think your the best at everything?

[DUSTIN SKY HALLIDAY]

He grinned, nodding to the birthday thing. Reaching into his back pocket, he grabbed his phone, setting a reminder for her birthday. He wouldn't let himself forget. It was a birthday promise. Any type of promise he'd honor no matter what. Her blush was slightly cute, although, in a bunny kind of way. Oh, he got it! She reminded him of a bunny. Odd but cute. Now he had the sensation to call her Bunny.

Oh, so an emo? He had no problem with that. "I play guitar, of course, and I guess I can sing, draw, write, read, dance, act. Just don't ask me to do anything in any of those other categories...I sort of failed most of my school life..." he scratched the back of his head on that last part, now a bit embarrassed that he was really only good at artistic things. It did seem kind of sad he failed at everything else. And Dustin is one you should definitely keep away from chemicals.

At this point he figured she knew that he actually wasn't sick before. But he was distracted by the next thing she said. Too distracted to apologize for lying. She had anorexia? That explained why she looked so skinny. And the fact that she found this place scary at times..it made him feel bad. As she took that last step back and leaned on the counter, he stepped forward and hugged her, a more sincere smile now placed on him. It was a soft, gentle touch. He just got the feeling she needed the hug. Plus, hugs were good things!

"This is an interesting place. You get to meet interesting people. Plus, it's a place to get help with your problems. So, technically, this place is good," he responded, turning it into a something positive. "So I guess I do enjoy it here. How could he not enjoy it? He really did meet interesting people and it was a very interesting place. Plus, here, he could try and make a lot of people smile. What could be better than that? To make others happy, or at least attempt to, it made him feel better as well. His brother had helped convince the gullible little Sky of that as well.

Finally, after a moment, he went to let go of her.

[MAYUMI FAEY KIMURA]

Mayumi leaned in to the hug, it felt nice to be hugged again. As he pulled away their was a giant smile spread across her face. She pulled out her phone, "Can I have your number Sky? I will give you mine too."She had never given a boy her cell number in all her life. She was also excited for her birthday to come, she usually dreaded it but this year someone was going to tell her happy birthday. She stood up and hugged him once again. It was a quick hug, and for some reason an image of a dog was in her head. Thats what he would be if he was an animal. He would be a friendly dog, someones best friend. She smiled and looked at the floor, "I guess I could give it a try...But if it ends up that this isn't a good place I'm coming after you." She nudged him lightly with a teasing joking tone in her soft voice.

"Oh hey..My number is 617 - 2259." She pulled out her phone and opened it, she waited for him to utter his number. But she also waited for him to tell her to fuck off. She had, had so many fake friends in her life she waited for the day that 'friends' told her to fuck off. She always felt stupid for talking to these people and putting her trust in them. She shook her head, she was going to keep her guard up. She wanted to trust Dustin, but she also wanted to keep herself safe. She was done with getting hurt, she had gotten plenty of that feeling in her life. Her whole childhood and her teenage years were full of the stuff. She hoped that once she turned 18 she would feel less pain, or no pain at all.

She had made promises to 'friends' that she would eat, and not cut. She kept them for all of a few weeks. Because she usually found out her friends were fake than she would cut like no other. She had stopped listening to people when they told her to eat. She looked at Dustin, "You remind me of a big friendly puppy!" She let the smile spread on her face, then her lips scrunched up and her eyes closed. She sneezed and it was this small high pitched squeak. It sounded like it should have come from a cute little animal, not a person. She opened her eyes and sniffled, she looked at Dustin and spoke softly. "Oops...Sorry." She giggled, because their was no reason for her to say sorry and she knew she shouldn't have. But it was a habit, she wasn't one to break those. It took her months to stop a habit that she had since the age of an infant. She was working of that nail biting habit she had. She had gone a full week without biting or chewing on her nails.

[DUSTIN SKY HALLIDAY]

He was happy she was smiling. Even though it was a bit hard to feel it right now, he was still happy. He didn't even mind the hug. And the fact she asked for his number made him smile even more. Making new friends was always fun. It was exciting to talk to new people. "Oh, of course," he said while taking out his phone. He added her number while repeating it under his breath and then looked at her. "655 - 2221 is my number." After waiting a moment he then repeated his number to make sure she got, only to close his phone and put it into his back pocket.

Trying was always the best. Effort was always necessary. He nodded to that statement, laughing slightly. Dustin was generally a very trustworthy person. And with how gullible he was, he could be easily tricked. It was bad for him to trust so easily as well but he couldn't help it. He had kind of started to stare off into space when she called him a puppy. His smile widened completely as he laughed a bit. "A puppy? Am I that adorable?" he said jokingly, looking her in the eyes and scratching his head. It was cute she thought of him that way. What was even cuter was the sneeze. He placed one on her head, only slightly messing up her hair. "I think you're the more adorable one."

He leaned on one of the stalls, not exactly on a door but in between on a barrier. He then extended his arm, holding his hand out for her grasp. A third hug but this time with a purpose. A bit selfish but at the same time, not selfish. There was something he wanted to see about her, in hopes of helping, of course. He just figured she could use a higher self esteem. Why not? It was always healthy for people. Unless, of course, they had too high of an ego. That could just get over exaggerated.

"Come on, get over here!" he stated a bit playfully.

[MAYUMI FAEY KIMURA]

She plugged the number into her phone, under the name 'Sky (The Puppy)'. Her eyes widened at the site. She realized that this was her first number ever to go in her phone. She smiled at him and stuck out her tongue when he messed up her hair. "And um...No you more adorable than I could ever be." She giggled softly. Then put her phone away. She looked at him carefully, he was so nice. No guy was ever this nice...Unless they wanted in her pants. But Dustin seemed different. Like he wanted to be her friend. She could use a friend. She was walking through clouds at this moment in time. She felt like this sometimes. Not quite down, but not quite up ether.

She watched him walk away back to the stalls. Was he going to throw up again? What else could he have to throw up? Then a smile spread across her face as one spread across his face. She looked him in the eyes, "I sound all weird when I sneeze." She watched him extend his arm. What in the world was he doing? Then he told her to come over to him, she trusted that he wasn't going to hurt her. So she walked over to him and hugged him, because that's why he called her over right?

"Your a good friend Sky." She smiled as her face pressed agent his chest.

[DUSTIN SKY HALLIDAY]

He stuck his tongue out right back at her as he laughed a little bit more. He held her tightly, standing in that position. So she was just as tiny as she appeared. Just from hugging her there, he could feel how light she was. Unhealthy. But he wasn't allowed to comment. Yeah, he was skinny, but he was an average weight. Some bulimics were even over weight. It made him a bit concerned about her. He didn't want her to be anorexic. A lot of people were fine with their actual weight.

He didn't let go just yet. He was actually pretty comfortable. Plus, he think she enjoyed the hug more than he did. Everyone needed a good friend, right? He wouldn't screw her over. If anything, he had a thought in the way far back dark corners of his mind that said she'd screw him over. But other than that, he had faith and trust in their friendship already. He had no reason not to trust her. Even if he was ever screwed over, he ended up trusting the wrong person anyways. It wasn't always a good thing to forgive most.

"Thanks," he said, kind of believing but yet kind of not believing he was a good friend. He promised himself to be loyal to her, figuring that she had her reasons for being here. Figuring that she probably had her good share of pain. He doubted she needed more. "Oh," he slightly gasped, now pulling away from her and grinning. "Do you sing as well?" he asked, now getting an idea for her birthday. He was going to try and make her birthday as special as possible and if she could sing, that'd be perfect for him. If not, or if she just preferred not to, he'd have to think of a tad bit of an alternative plan. He most likely wouldn't be able to get her a gift but he'd consider his plan her gift. He hoped she would understand that later.

[MAYUMI FAEY KIMURA]

"I can sing." She looked up at him and smiled. She took a step backward, to give him some space. "I love singing...But I have no one to sing with or play music for me...so I usually only sing to songs on my iPod or the radio." Mayumi blushed, she dint know why she was telling him all of this. She never told anyone this, this was something that only her family and she herself knew about. She trusted him, but in the back of her mind she was prepared for the worst. She was ready for the whole place to know about her whole life. She hadn't seen a therapist since she was first enrolled. She was already willing to sit alone in her room on her 18th birthday.

She looked at him then poked his tummy. She felt the giggles bubble up in her throat but she swallowed them down. "Sky..Um I mean Dustin...Do you think we are going to be good friends? Because I really hope you do...I do!" Her eyes lit up with happiness. She hoped that she could finally have a good friend. He was talented, handsome, sweet and caring. She was already willing to kick ass if anyone bothered him or tried to trick him. She wasn't the strongest or the biggest person, and she was usually the one in need of protection she was willing to try. She had a sharp tongue though, if you messed with her and she was in the right, or wrong mood she could tear you down. She learned how to sharpen her tongue with all of the shit friends she has had in her life.

She knew how to build people up then tear them right back down. She dint enjoy doing it, but she would if she had to. She smiled at Dustin, she would never tear him down. She would build him up and then try her hardest to keep him their. She loved making people happy. Even if making someone else happy destroyed her she would do it. She still had trouble determining lies from the truth. So she usually said everything is the truth unless it could be proven a lie. She hung on to peoples words like they were air, she knew she shouldn't but she ended up doing it anyway. It annoyed her sometimes, but she soon got over it. She looked down at her stomach as it growled, her mouth twisted into a grimace. She thought to herself, I wonder what Dustin would do if I snuck off for a snack...Just a small one of course, like a cracker? Oh I cant do that...He would think I'm a big fatty. She decided against the snack, she would just go cut herself to get rid of hunger pains.

[DUSTIN SKY HALLIDAY]

"Good," he replied with, smirk spread across his face. He laughed a bit when she poked him, only to be thinking how much fat she probably felt. Oh well. There were other things to worry about. How could she even ask such a thing? Of course they'd be good friends! He always loved having good friends. He hardly ever had enemies. He never wanted them. He hated having them. But, not everyone was friends. At least Mayumi was!

"Of course! Always, alright?" he stated, smiling casually. Though, he couldn't help but hear her stomach growled. So, taking his finger, he poked her stomach, now giving her one of those ashamed playful looks. Wagging his finger at her,"Tsk, tsk. Being anorexic can't be fun. It's also dangerous and can lead to a lot of harm to your body later. Why don't you grab something to eat without puking it up?" Ignoring the fact that he was still bulimic and being oh so very contradicting. He wasn't trying to be rude in suggesting something that wasn't his business so he'd apologize if it offended her in any way.

Then, tapping his hand on the side of his jeans to some song he started humming, lyrics came to him as he remembered one of the songs he learned on guitar. He then snapped his fingers and did a little clap, now remember it went along with the song. Looking at her in the eyes, "The more I want to let you know that everything you do is super fuckin' cute and I can't stand it," he sang cheerfully, not embarrassed or anything to sing in front of her. In fact, he was happy to sing in front of others. He wasn't afraid to dance or act or anything else that could even be a little weird. And if the person knew the song, he never minded them singing along.

[MAYUMI FAEY KIMURA]

Her eyes sparkled, and she giggled, "Yay! Always!" She hugged him again, and couldn't stop smiling. She pulled away from him then looked into his face, she let a playful frown sit on her face. "I'm only eating if you do too...and nether of us can throw up." She nodded briskly to make her point. Then she smiled, and when she heard him sing her face lit up with light.

"I've been searching for a girl that's just like you.." She sang along softly. She loved the band NeverShoutNever. She was working on a cover of a few of their songs. One of them was this song that they were singing and also What Is Love? and Jane Doe. It made her happy that she wasn't the only one who enjoyed a good band. She looked at him, "So...NeverShoutNever huh?" She began to hum the rest of the song and hoped he would sing more of it.

She realized that he had an amazing singing voice, and she couldn't wait for her birthday to roll around. She wondered who would notice or even know besides Sky and herself. Oh and of course December her cat would know. She thought about it and decided that the cat would be like a gift from CJ. Because after all he had let her keep the cat instead of taking it for himself. "Cause I know that your heart is true.." She smiled. She figured that he dint lover her, but this song could be applied to friends as well. She wondered if her really thought that what she was was 'super fuckin' cute' and that her 'cant stand it'. She was giggling like crazy as she kept singing. "Baby, I love you I never want to let you go."