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Post by CLAIRA BROOKE EARNSHAW on May 13, 2010 8:21:12 GMT
So, was this love? Claire sat cross legged on her bed as the clock ticked. Her eyes where set staring at the flame that burned her skin. God it hurt. It hurt to the point of tears yet somehow the small girl had become immune to its sting. She clenched and unclenched her small hand as its orange flicker danced against the pale white of her complexion, tinging it to a slightly more red colour.
Was wren really in love with her? Or had Claire just convinced herself so. Something in the back of her mind yelled, screamed, begged her to stop it. She knew in her heart Wren couldn't love her, it was impossible. Why would someone so beautiful love something like herself? A masochistic pyro who'd been broken and used to the point or paranoia. She swallowed hard and fidgeted mildly.
She pulled her shirt down some, burning the sensitive flesh of her neck, a quiet whimper escaped her plump lips as she did so. Why was she doing this ? Because wren had been right. The small girl /wanted/ to burn. She wanted to know what it was like not to hurt anymore, and fire was the only way she trusted. She closed her eyes and she burnt patches of her skin in whole, worse then she'd ever burnt herself before. Only when the pain became dizzying did she stop and wonder what she was doing. Wren did love her, despite the abuse and rape she'd been subjected too.
Stumbling, claire reached for the door, whimpering to herself as she collapsed against the cool tiled flooring. Her blue eyes sparkled with tears as she curled up, aching and writhing slightly against the floor. Her eyes darted around the dark room, she'd neglected to turn on the light. Her heart jumped and raced and thudded as her stomach churned. Anxiety washed over her as she fidgeted and squirmed, wanting nothing more then to be held by her lover, by her Wren. She whimpered a bit louder, in an almost useless desperation to hear Wren's voice. They where back, she felt them, her eyes closed tight, not wantign to see them.
She could have sworn she felt there fingers brushing her, usign her once more. It wasn't the same pleasure as when Wren took her, it was painful and deliberately so. She needed to be saved, she needed to be held. Without thinking, Claire opened her mouth and screamed out as loud as she could in hopes that the one woman she trusted would hear. Fuck she was stupid.
She rocked lightly as images flooded her mind, images of men drunk beyond recognization tackling her and hurting her in ways she`d only heard of. Her mind screamed, pleading with them to stop, but her mouth wouldn`t open. She`d been hit too hard. She squirmed and writhed, though in reality no one was touching her. She was desperate now, grabbing the lighter she held it to a tiny piece of her hair, lighting it on fire and praying that either wren would find her and put it out before it burnt her, or that the flame would engulf her entirely.
[/center] tagged;; Wren words;; 530 outfit;; here credit;; me for everything =)
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Post by WREN HARLOW YARNELL on May 13, 2010 10:54:30 GMT
Wren was loosing track of up and down as she quickly made her way to her room, craving what was tucked safely into the cupcakes she carried in a box. Today she had met with Charlie during her normal visiting time, he’d brought her medicines for her and she needed to take them. He’d figured out that sneaking them in by bringing her baked goods was easiest and god she could kiss him for it. Actually that had been his request today, a kiss but she’d slid by with only a quick peck claiming to be too tired and fidgety to give him the kiss he wanted. Truth was she didn’t want to hurt her Sweet Claire. She’d have felt required to tell if it was more than that peck for some reason. It was weird, the feeling of needing to explain herself and her actions to someone since she’d never had this before. What it was exactly, was anyone’s guess really since she sure as shit didn’t have a clue.
What did it mean when you felt guilty for being the whore you’d always been? Wren felt something for her, but she shouldn’t since with her life being what it was she was only good for one thing. Claire deserved better and more than a whore with a drug addiction. Wren knew she had problems with her at times violent mood swings where one second everything was ok and the next she was either lower than dirt or seemingly higher than a kite even if she hadn’t taken anything. Manic depressive is what they called it, she said it was an excuse to lock her up really since the drugs were actually her meds to help that problem. This place didn’t help you get better it made you worse. She couldn’t leave though so she settled for getting what she needed from Charlie on his visiting days and wearing a smile. When she was with Claire? The smile was more often real than fake these days and that amazed her.
It wasn’t normal for Wren to get attached to anyone. She’d had “regular” customers before who she’d seen more often but none of them ever made her feel like actually smiling or being happy and relaxed. This new way of feeling scared her in truth because she didn’t want to get used to it since Claire would get tired of her eventually and then she’d know what she was missing out on. She couldn’t help but want to spend time with Sweet though, it felt so good to and not just meaning the sex, but that was pretty damned awesome too which surprised her because she thought she’d done and experienced it all. Teaching someone else was different than doing, and she was showing sweet all she knew.
Walking into her dorm she moved to her bed and set the box down jumping and frowning as she heard the scream from somewhere in the hall. One of the rooms? Moving to the door she looked out seeing a few others doing the same and rolling her eyes as she heard a few say that one of the guards would be by soon. Yeah that was always good…ignore the screaming person and let someone else deal with it. Adding that to the long list of things she hated in this place she moved into the hall and peeked her head into dorms that had closed doors. She opened the door to Claire’s room and flicked on the light just in time to see the fire held to her hair and her eyes widened as she rushed forward grabbing the part that was burning and putting the fire out between her hands before reaching out to take her Sweet’s face between her hands. Sweet?! It’s me it’s Wren…calm down love please. she begged the endearment slipping easily from her lips. Her voice was soft but clear as she took in the sight of the girl who held what there was of her useless heart and felt it break for her. She seemed so freaked and Wren didn’t know why so she didn’t know how to fix it. Sweet I’m right here. she said again pulling the younger girl into her arms and onto her lap rocking her gently and taking away the lighter tucking it into her own back pocket for now.
TAGGED ** Sweets/Claire STATUS ** Finished WORDS ** 731 OUTFIT ** tis purplicious xP NOTES ** got carried away xP LYRICS ** NEVERSHOUTNEVER – “Happy” CREDIT ** Made by Suzie but since she’s ma sis she can hit me or something for usin it.
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Post by CLAIRA BROOKE EARNSHAW on May 13, 2010 23:10:22 GMT
Claire was already so deep in her anxiety she hardly recognized the voice that attempted to coax her from her nightmares. "Angel?" she whispered, blinking carefully. The fire no longer stung her, so it had to be. She forced her body to calm some, nuzzling as close as physically possible to the woman she knew and ultimately loved. "Queenie" she mumbled, this time a bit more coherent, she nipped her skin and nestled close. "I..." She didn't know what to say. The scalding burn marks on her body clearly gave way that she'd nearly been successful in her attempts, but at what cost? She loved wren. And...wren, despite her knowledge, had just admitted she loved her back.
Claires small lips pressed gently to Wren's jawline, "You saved me?" she asked quietly, whimpering some, "The bad guys left?" she squirmed a little, her arms wrapping around the woman in a loving embrace. "Queenie stay with Sweet?" She wasn't making sense and she knew it, she sounded like a whiny little child and yet somehow--under the pressure of the shock and fear still radiating through her body-- that was all she could choke out.
Her flashbacks had always, always, been vivid. But few felt so vividly real. She shook softly in Wren's warm arms, absentmindedly pressing chaste kisses to her face. "I love you" she mumbled, burying her nose in the crook of the older girls neck, "Don't leave me, ever." she pleaded. Her eyes watered softly, her heart rate speeding up. "I love you too much don't hurt me." at this point she hardly knew what she was saying, just...that she was saying it.
And finally, her meds kicked in. The anxiety lowered, she blinked confused, and looked around her torn apart dorm room. She then looked to the woman holding her, dumbfounded. "Did we do this?" she asked quietly, looking down to make sure she still had her clothing on. She giggled softly but then winced as she felt the burn marks on her body. "Oh..." she said apprehensively, bitting her lip, feeling absently through her pockets for her lighter.
[/center] tagged;; Wren words;; 530 outfit;; here credit;; me for everything =)
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Post by WREN HARLOW YARNELL on May 16, 2010 3:23:31 GMT
Wren frowned a little at hearing ‘angel’ come from Claire, praying she didn’t think she was allowed to die because she had a rude awakening ahead if she did. Wren was just not letting that happen any time soon and especially not when she was there and able to stop it. When Claire cuddled into her she held a bit tighter and let out a soft sigh of relief as she heard her nickname happy she seemed to have realized who was there with her at least. It’s me sweet… the nip made her smile just a little as she started looking over the girl in her arms checking for more marks, more hurt/damage than just her hair since she’d put that out right away. She could see them, burn marks on her skin that looked red and sore and she frowned at them, wanting to be able to make them go away but knowing she couldn’t. She couldn’t even be mad about them really, since she did things she was sure her sweet wouldn’t like and since she had said “not around me” not “no more ever”. She couldn’t ask that of her sweet because then sweet would be able to ask something like “no more drugs and alcohol” or asking her not to cut, which Wren wasn’t actually sure if Claire had noticed yet.
She couldn’t help but smile a little at Claire when her lips pressed along her jawline. She was hurt, and had just been so scared anyone could tell a mile away that she was freaking out and here she was snuggling and kissing at her like everything was ok. It amazed her what her Sweet was capable of in Wren’s eyes, if that’s what you want to call it then yes sweet I did and yes they’re gone. she said softly not having seen anyone in the room but she knew her girls problems now, she understood better and she’d protect her always from anyone who wanted to even think about hurting her. She kept her own arms around Claire as she squirmed not ready to let go yet, wanting to keep her close and protect her. It was a weird feeling, wanting to protect someone because she cared about her enough to want her around for awhile. Yes I’ll stay with you sweet. I’m not going anywhere. she said her voice soft but clear enough for Claire to hear.
Still holding onto her girl as kisses were pressed across her face she kissed back in between the ones given to her. The words about love had her wanting to tense up, pull back because they were still strange to her but she didn’t. She held on and forced her voice to stay steady, I love you too Sweet. she mumbled softly. She had trouble saying this, not because she didn’t love her but because it just went against everything she’d believed her whole life to love and admit it. She shook her head when Claire asked her not to leave ever and held a little tighter as she looked at her to see the tears in her eyes. I’m not going anywhere and I won’t hurt you Sweet. I promise. her words were honest, she wouldn’t now and couldn’t ever hurt the girl in her arms.
It was like someone flipped a switch in Claire and one second she was worried and scared, the next she was fine and asking if they’d done the damage to the dorm around them. Wren glanced around and laughed shaking her head realizing it was actually a valid question some days. No we didn’t cause this…this time. She watched Claire’s face and catching the wince before the “oh” and taking a breath kissing her cheek lightly. Are you ok now Sweet? How hurt are you because if you need I’ll take you up to the infirmary and stay with you while they treat the burns. she offered softly. The lighter was tucked into her own pocket but she wasn’t handing it back until she was positive it wouldn’t be meeting Claire’s skin again any time soon so she didn’t mention it just yet.
TAGGED ** Sweets/Claire STATUS ** Finished WORDS ** 696 OUTFIT ** tis purplicious xP NOTES ** <3 LYRICS ** NEVERSHOUTNEVER – “Happy” CREDIT ** Made by Suzie but since she’s ma sis she can hit me or something for usin it.
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Post by CLAIRA BROOKE EARNSHAW on May 17, 2010 2:32:10 GMT
She was mildly confused, of course it was wren. Her angel. She nuzzled close and closed her eyes, yawning softly. "I know its you, angel" she mumbled tiredly. Her eyes felt so so heavy, and her body so so sore. she couldn't help the squirming as she allowed Wren to hold her. Wren. Ah. She knew for a fact now that it wasn't just adrenalin and lust, that she most definitely did love her Queenie. Her Queenie would never hurt her, nor would she push her to do something against her will. Nothing that would hurt her anyway.
"Forever?" she mumbled, lacing her fingers through Wren's. She wanted wren to stay with her forever and ever. She was the first person who loved her without hurting her. Even Claire's family had been reluctant to love the strange little teenager. She kissed her jaw again, her haze completely wearing off. "Your my Savior now Queenie" she teased, giggling half heartedly. Claire was surprised she wasn't flinching away from her touch. Instead she welcomed the tender embrace.
She didn't need Wren's reassurance. She knew that she'd be protected so long as she stayed close to her Queenie. She just needed to reassure herself of that more often, remind herself that regardless of the situation Wren wasn't going to abandon her the way so many had. She kissed wren's lips this time, savouring the taste as she did. Had wren honestly just said she loved her? Clairice's cheeks burned red and she nuzzled her lightly. "Good. I don't wanna be in love if its only one sided" she mumbled quietly.
Claire smiled slightly, pushing herself off of wren's lap and limping towards the bathroom. She'd had some burn cream in here before... "Are they that bad? " she asked quietly, chewing on her lip slightly. "I...maybe we should." she sighed and kissed wren's cheek, "But you dont have to stay the entire time, love."
[/center] tagged;; Wren words;; 530 outfit;; here credit;; me for everything =)
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Post by WREN HARLOW YARNELL on May 17, 2010 8:37:42 GMT
TAGGED ** Sweets/Claire STATUS ** Finished WORDS ** 558 OUTFIT ** tis purplicious xP NOTES ** <3 LYRICS ** NEVERSHOUTNEVER – “Happy” CREDIT ** Made by Suzie but since she’s ma sis she can hit me or something for usin it.
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