G O M E N A S A I [NOAH/M]

[V3RA SCOTT AX3LSSON]

i never needed a friend
like i do now

It wasn’t long after Vera got back to his dorm, his face red and puffy from crying that the entire place was destroyed. Even the other two dorm mates weren’t safe from his anger as he pulled open every wardrobe, tossing every single clothing item out into the room. Everything on his desk was on the floor in a heap, the beds were unmade, the only remotely neat part of the whole room was…

Noah’s bed. After his burst of anger, Vera had kept that one thing clean… only slightly, though. As it was, the bed had held Vera’s crumbled body as he sobbed into the boy’s pillow, only doing so because it smelled like him and made him feel comfortable. Vera’s once blue eyes were red from the tears that were constantly rushing from them, his knuckles were white from holding on tight to his pillow, holding it like he’d hold the real Noah.

Even if his bed reeked of beer, cigarettes and pot, Vera loved it. It hadn’t been long since the tears subsided slightly, though only slightly. Of course, Vera couldn’t help but weep for the boy he loved more than life itself, how much he had hurt him earlier. He wanted the tears to stop. He wanted everything to just quit hurting.

Did Noah even understand? Vera would kill himself if it meant making the other Swede happy. Vera would give up all of his goals, his aspirations just for Noah and nobody else. He never wanted to hurt the other, he was just upset at the world for allowing that grave misfortune to befall someone who only wanted to help. The tears were falling hard again as thoughts began to plague his mind. What if Noah didn’t love him anymore? He screamed into the pillow, holding it as tight as he could. He needed the other Swede there to hold him, no doubt about it.

........
Outfit: here
Words: 320
Tagged: noah
Lyrics: gomenasai . t.A.T.u.
Notes:
Vera's emotions: clearly upset at himself for the things he said earlier </3
Credit: RAWR?! of cautionalso known as kali of nevermore. do not remove credit.

[NOAH LUKAS HENRIKSSON]

Y O U R L I P S L O O K S O L O N E L Y
--*would they like to meet mine

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Noah never cried. Ever. It was almost a foreign concept to the young Swede. Sure, he got upset and he got angry; he wouldn’t be human if he didn’t. Usually he just punched things, taking it out on the wall other than some innocent human being. This time he couldn’t help it, he couldn’t help himself. It had all just been too much. The slightly salty water had broken down the defence at his te
ar duct and had spilled down his face. The worst thing about it, his heart had broken into so many little pieces at that moment he thought it would never beat again.

He had never meant to upset the other; he would never do that deliberately. He loved that boy with all his heart. It broke him inside to even think about just being without him. It was those mornings that he woke up to find Vera’s arms wrapped around his skinny waist, the others breath warming his neck as the sun slowly entered the dorm through the slits in the blinds. It was those mornings that gave Noah hope, enough pizzazz to carry on. He was that smile that everyone saw on Noah’s face.

“Well Done Noah” The blonde thought to himself as he trudged back up to his dorm, the dorm he shared with the one he was most scared of seeing right now. Noah could sense all eyes on him as he walked. He really didn’t care right now. He just wanted to get away. The makeup that was running down his pale face was a clear indication of how he was feeling. No one bothered to ask here. No one cared.

It took him a long time to open the door. He didn’t know what it was; it felt like there was someone already there. Noah’s eyes widened when we walked in. The place was trashed. It was weird, the dorm was never this messy. It was then he heard the faint sobs coming from the direction of his bed. The tall Swede edged closer

“V…Vera?”

--*you are the one that i've
B E E N H O P I N G T O F I N D[/font][/color]

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[V3RA SCOTT AX3LSSON]

i never needed a friend
like i do now

Vera hadn’t bothered to lift his head, he knew who it was. He scooted a little closer to the door, his newly blind eyes searching for the beautiful blond boy that held his heart. Noah was the last person he had ever seen, and he could never have eyes for anyone else. He gasped for air, clinging tight to the pillow, praying that Noah wouldn’t be upset with him for creating such a huge mess in their room. Vera didn’t even pay attention to the mess. He didn’t care anymore. Without Noah, he was nothing. Just a shell of a Swedish human.

His wide eyes had found Noah… somewhat, and that was ok. At least he was looking in the right direction. He blinked back tears as he tried to find words, anything to keep himself from breaking down again. He reached out, trying to find Noah, to hold onto his hand, just to give himself proof that the other boy wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. He wanted to just hold the boy, to love him, to let everything go back to normal. He didn’t mean to snap… Would Noah understand? That question plagued his mind, that, and was Noah even really there? More tears fell as Vera began to believe those questions would both end up being negative. He couldn’t help that belief, it was just there. After all, he had made Noah cry earlier. Noah never cried.

Vera, however, was a baby. Just the smallest thing could set him off. This, however, was big. Huge. He left the dorm in a mess because he knew he’d just end up cleaning it for a week to calm himself down again, but for now, he didn’t even have the strength to stand. His blue eyes turned to Noah again, and he allowed his breath to hitch a couple of times before he gasped once more and finally spoke… sort of. He attempted to, he croaked. His words got cut off by the tears that had already began to rub his face raw. He opened his mouth again, inhaling sharply before just getting frustrated with himself and closing it again. Finally, he managed to choke out a simple question.


”Är du riktigt?”

........
Outfit: here
Words: 373
Tagged: noah
Lyrics: gomenasai . t.A.T.u.
Notes: "Are you real?"
Vera's emotions: clearly upset at himself for the things he said earlier </3
Credit: RAWR?! of cautionalso known as kali of nevermore. do not remove credit.