I hate you ( matthew)

[SERENA ROSE RANDOLF]

Serena was having one of those therapy classes, and seeing it was her first, she thought she'd try it out. They told her she was only having one more person in there beside the dumb bitch doctor that they say will help. Yeah, if you could help serena. She smirked, and entered the room. She was wearing her purple skinnies, and a white teeshirt on that. She looked over the room, and sat down in one of the chairs. The lady sat down at her desk, she had brown hair, that was cut like a bob that had overgrown a tad, and she was wearing a proffesional suite. All ready for work. Yeah right. This was their life. Helping unwanted teens that the society labeled " unable to survive in the real world" or " the ones not safe for society. fuck the society. Serena didn't even care.

" So serena, who suggested you be in here?' She asked.
Serena looked at her, and said" My dumb cunt of an aunt. She told me I would be better off in this place than out there." she nodded, and at the same time there went her bob. She wanted to flip and tell her to shave it all off. She looked to her, and said" Serena, you have two kids right?" Serena's heart jumped, and then she said" yes, if you must know my goddamn life, bitch.' She seemed to ignore the comment, and then said" If you don't mind me asking, Whos the father?" Serena looked at her, and said" Some dumb prick who left me with them."

She sighed. He wasn't dumb, He wasn't a prick. He did leave her, but it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault. She sighed, and said" He left me with two kids, All by myself to care for them. He's such dick. I can't even believe he did that. " she nodded. Serena saw that she was trying to get in her head, so she stopped talking.

She looked at her, and said" Your company should be entering the room very soon, serena."

[MATTHEW SID CHAINLAND]

``**``**``**``**``**

"You need therapy."
Those were the first words out of the nurse's mouth when he'd entered her office a while ago. How rude, to simple jump to conclusions like that. Just because he'd shown up with a couple scrapes and bruises on him didn't mean he had anger issues and thus needed 'therapy'. What, didn't any normal guy his age get into fights anymore? You go out there, into the 'real' world, and see for yourself if any 17 year old boy doesn't get into the odd scuffle now and then. Of course, for him, he tended to get into those kind of situations a bit more frequently than did most, but hey, he was in an insane asylum. Everyone here, had issues! And since when did yapping to some stranger who knew nothing of your life help you improve yourself? They'd already tried that on him when he'd been on his probation roll after serving the allotted jail-time. The bitch they'd presented to him then had been some old loony, who had a PhD in psychiatry and was a trained 'professional' who supposedly understood all there was to understand about why kids like him did what they did. She'd tried to preach to him the virtues of thinking positive, being happy, and something about loving everyone around you as a brother and sister. Um...right...no. It was a load of bullshit, and he'd made that quite clear to her right off the bat. Which was why he was here now, heading to a session of self-evaluation that was guaranteed to go down the drain.

Not one of these foggies that the institution hired was suited for the job of telling the residents how to make themselves better people. Honestly, if you looked into the past of half the teens who were sent here, you really couldn't argue with them about the path they chose to take. Matt had anger issues: that was due largely to the fact that he hadn't had a stable childhood setting to grow up in and had the lesson that anger was the only way to get noticed ingrained into his system; Matt was a heroin addict: his mom had started the trend, then left her stock out and in easy reach of her ten year old son; Matt was emotionally unstable: his mom was a whore who slept with more men than there were stars in the sky, he'd become a dad by the age of fifteen with a girl he was sure didn't give a damn about him anymore, he'd gotten thrown into jail for a year because he'd tried to keep his kids alive. Yeah, and they wondered why he'd turned out to be such a problem case.

Stopping in front of the door that he was assuming belonged to the therapy wench, the blonde youth sighed and ran a hand through his tousled hair. May as well get this over with so he could go on with his day already. Judging by the voices coming through the wood, his 'partner' was already present and talking. If he was interrupting something, then oh well. It wasn't his fault. He was not here of his own free will. Pushing the door open - and praying that he'd be able to keep his temper in check for a little longer - he stuck his head in. And almost immediately turned around to leave again. This, could not be happening. Not to him. Why him of all people? Hadn't he suffered enough? Did Lady Luck have a personal grudge against him? Did God find this amusing? Matt gritted his teeth and entered the room, doing his best to avoid looking at the girl who sat on one side of the therapist's desk.

He took his seat next to the other, keeping his gaze trained permanently forward. "Alright, I'm here. Can we just....hurry up and skip the fodder..." This was not what he needed right then. He made a mental note to never approach that blasted nurse - or infirmary ward for that matter - ever again. Even if he fell deathly ill, or broke his skull wide open, there was no way he would approach another adult in this place if this was what he'd get in the end!

``Tag: Serena
``Status: Complete
``Words: 713
``Outift: Click
``Lyrics: Let Me Hear Your Voice - Big Bang
``Credits: Template (C) Lu L.

[SERENA ROSE RANDOLF]

Serena had been sitting there queitly after this wench of a therapist asked her who the father of her kids where, and she answered how she felt. Isn't that what they wanted? Isn't that how they were happy? Hearing what you thought of something or someone. Isn't that what this bitch wanted? if not, then too bad. she had got alittle piece of her mind. She sighed, and then heard something behind her. Sometimes, Serena didn't even bother to look at who was coming in to these things. She's been here before, did this before, did this type of shit before.

But something told her to look back. Her eyes glared, since she knew right away who it was. Serena wasn't going to stand this shit. She stood up, and looked to the bitch, and said" NO WAY IN HELL AM I SITTING WITH THIS THING NEXT TO ME!" She screamed at them both. She was not about to sit hersef here, and listen to what this asshole had to say. He'd left her to fight, and care for two kids under the age of one. Serena looked at him, and said" You asshole, get out of here, get out of here, NOW!" She looked to the therapist, and yelled" GET HIM OUT OF HERE! I DONT WANT TO TALK TO HIM!'

the therapist looked to matthew, and then serena. She sighed, and said" Serena, calm down, sit down, it's not worth getting all mad about."

Serena looked to her, and said" not worth getting mad about? really bitch? this asshole here left me with two kids under the age of one, and has no idea what it was like, and now i end my ass here because of all the shit i have to get myself into for caring for them, and my dumb cunt of aunt who thinks im better off in here, then out there with them." She looked to him, and yelled" Say SOMETHING! IT'S YOUR FAULT IM HERE AND NOT WITH OUR KIDS! " she looked around, and then sighed. It wasn't truly his fualt. Serena just wanted someone to blame besides herself. She sighed, and sat down. She was done.

The therapist looked to both of them and said" well, after that big blow up, are we all okay to sit and talk? Matthew, what do you have to say to that?".

[MATTHEW SID CHAINLAND]

``**``**``**``**``**

No, no, do NOT blow up at her! Do NOT get up and storm out that door, because you know that won't fix anything, and you'll only end up regretting it later! Shut up, and just wait for her to calm down. Just. Wait.
And somehow, he managed to do just that. True he was biting down on his tongue the entire time that Serena was ranting at him and the therapist lady, and biting hard at that, but he at least kept his mouth shut and didn't say a thing. If he hadn't done that, he knew he would've flown off the handle and risen to her bait. Then everything would've been worse than ever. So he'd sit there silently, and wait out this bought of rage that was directed at him.

She had no right, to go and accuse him of all that. Yes, he'd left her alone to care for the twins on her own when they were barely one, and yes he'd been the one to get her pregnant in the first place, but none of that had been intentional! Did he regret it? Definitely to the first one, definitely not to the second. Was there anything he could do about it now? No, not a goddamn thing, and both of them knew that. And it wasn't his fault that she'd decided to get into shit when he'd gotten thrown into the cell. That part, she'd gone and chosen for herself; therefore she was here, at Stanfield, stuck with him, by her own accord. Not his.

Seeing that his ex had finally run out of words to say, and the bobbed woman was addressing him, Matt pried his jaw open and fought to maintain a somewhat civilized tone. This was the longest he'd ever held back his anger, and he wasn't liking the feeling of suppressing an emotion that had become second nature over the years. "First of all, 'this thing' happens to have a name, and I think you know fairly well what that name is," the last half of the sentence was directed at a fuming Serena. "Second, I'll admit to having left her on her own with the kids when they were one, but that was not something I'd intended to happen. I was caught robbing a store downtown, and got sentenced to a year in jail, as well as five months of probation. Not much I could do about it after everything was settled, and it wasn't like I could just pick up the phone whenever I wanted to call her up. As for why she got landed here, I don't see how that is connected to me at all. If she did something she shouldn't have after I left, then that has nothing to do with me." The words came out clipped, with a decisive undertone that hinted at something unpleasant broiling under the surface of calmness. One false step, one wrong word, and he'd snap.

``Tag: Serena
``Status: Complete
``Words: 495
``Outfit: Click
``Lyrics: Let Me Hear Your Voice - Big Bang
``Credits: Template (C) Lu L.

[SERENA ROSE RANDOLF]

Serena looked at him, and watched him, and listened to him talk. Of course she knew his name, no shit sherlock. She sighed, and then let him finish. She took it all in, and then thought about what he said. She was trying not to say the wrong thing, she was trying not to blow up again, and get mad at him. But, it was hard. She was here, and not with her two little kids. She wanted out of her. It wasn't her fault. She needed something to cover up the pain of everything. Just getting caught in the wrong crowd was never her plan in life. She didn't think she would get addicted to the life she ran.

She looked at him, and whispered" Matthew." She sighed, and then looked to the lady. She wanted her to leave, so she could say stuff she had been keeping in her for so many years. She looked to him, and then said" Skylar, and faith are two years old, matthew. I'm missing out on them, and so are you. They look just like you. Skylar is almost just like you, it's a tad scary at times. He's playful, he's sweet, and charming, and god that smile. It's all of you. Those kids are all of you..." She looked down a bit, and away from both of their eyes.

She sighed, and whispered" Sometimes, I think maybe that's why I did what I did. I guess, blaming myself for the past year and a half is hard, and now that your here in front of me, blaming you was alittle more easier." She sighed, and then looked at the therapist, and said" you got what you wanted. Those are my feelings, if you even care." She looked at Matthew again. She stll loved him, and that was clearly something she would never let go. It was after all her first, and father of her two kids. She looked at him, and said" Atleast, I know where you are."

[MATTHEW SID CHAINLAND]

``**``**``**``**``**

He turned to face her when she whispered his name, expression devoid of emotion as a precaution; just in case she felt like blowing up again. But she didn't, surprisingly enough. She didn't get angry again, and as he listened to her talk, Matt felt his own previous rage ebb away. But that was to be expected. After all, he never could stay angry with her for long. She was the only one who could get away with pissing him off completely, and not suffer repercussions for it. Her and the twins after they came into the world. Skylar and Faith; he hadn't even gotten to spend proper time with them before the cops caught up with him. Oh sure he'd doted on them and played with them like any dad would've with his children while he'd been around at home, but that was barely 12 months-worth of interaction with them. Not nearly enough for them to remember him by. A kid's memory didn't even begin to fully develop and hang on to information until what, age 5 at the earliest? Now he wondered if he'd ever get to see them again, and if they'd ever learn who their father was.

A small laugh passed his lips when Serena mentioned how their son was turning out to be like him. "Yeah? Well let's just hope he doesn't inherit my god-awful temper then," he said, a half smile twisting at one side of his mouth. "Or any of my bad habits. Wouldn't want him turning out like his daddy now would we..." No, he definitely didn't want to see his son - or daughter - go down the same road their parents had. Even if they never learned who he was, he'd be happy so long as they didn't end up in some institution like this one, surrounded by people who didn't give a damn about them.

Matt leaned forward to rest his elbows no his knees, one palm coming up to run through his hair again. "...I guess I can get that...always easier to lay the blame on someone else rather than yourself eh? Especially one who hasn't been around for more than a year...." He'd seen his mom do it plenty of times in the past, and he himself was guilty of the same at times. The problem didn't go away, but hey, at least you weren't the one getting bashed for causing the issue in the first place. Human nature was like that; everyone was selfishly trying to keep his/her own hide intact no matter what the costs were for the other party. Seeing Serena looking at him, he reached over and ruffled her hair slightly, the way he used to when they were still together. The smile tugged at his lips again. "And I know you're not driving your aunt up the wall with your craziness." A pause, hesitation, reluctance to continue. "Say...did the twins know about me?" Or did she never tell them about their dad while he was locked up somewhere away from them. He hoped not.

``Tag: Serena
``Status: Complete
``Words: 512
``Outift: Click
``Lyrics: Let Me Hear Your Voice - Big Bang
``Credits: Template (C) Lu L.

[SERENA ROSE RANDOLF]

Serena watched how he reacted, and just let him take it in. She smiled, and said" Matthew, I love that thier like you. I wouldn't trade it for the world. " She looked at him, and smiled. She had missed him more than she thought she did. She missed the way he smiled, the way he touched her, and the way they joked around all the time. They were best friends. She knew he was still her best friend. She looked to him, and said" Even if you did do things that probably weren't the best choice, and you have an anger like a bull, Matthew, You still are a good person."

She looked down at the ground, and then said" I know it wasn't right blaming you, but at the time it just seemed to be right to blame you. " She looked at him as he reached out, and touched her hair. Serena smiled, and then moved her body in the chair. She put her knees up and pulled them close to herself. She looked at him when he asked that. She looked at him, and then said" Yeah, they do." She looked down, and then back at him. She looked up at him, and said" I have a picture of you and me when we were at that park with the waterful, right beside there bed. Skylar was the first to ask Who that was with me. I looked at them both, and said" You're daddy"." She looked at him, and smiled. Just remembering all the good times with him was so hard at times. She just wanted it all back. She looked at him and said" And if you're wondering, I never told them you left, or you were in prision. I told them you were on buisiness, and you'd be back soon enough."

[MATTHEW SID CHAINLAND]

``**``**``**``**``**

"Oh yeah?" He grinned at her, eyebrows arched in amusement. "You say that now, but just wait until Skylar starts jumping at his own shadow and we'll see how much you like the fact he's like me then!" Shaking his head, he didn't outright contradict what she said next, but he was disagreeing with her nonetheless. Him? A good person? Please; he couldn't be that if his worthless life depended on it. His mom was a whore, his dad was some stranger who'd had a one-night stand, he himself had gotten his girlfriend pregnant when she was only 14, he was father of two kids he couldn't raise; oh yes, he was a swell person. And that wasn't counting all the other behavioral issues he had.

Matt turned in his chair so that he was facing her as much as the confinements of his seat would allow, watching her silently as she talked about the twins. So, they had wondered about him. Even if they didn't know who he was at first, they'd at least questioned after his presence. Or lack thereof. A small thing yes, and he doubted they'd recognize his face if he ever saw them again outside of this institution, but he was still happy about it. "What, that old photo?" he laughed. "You still have it? My god Serena, that was years ago!" It was taken towards the beginning of their relationship, when he'd decided to take her to see the water fall as one of their dates. At the time it'd seemed like a good idea, but looking back now, it was a pretty cheesy location to pick. Oh well, what was done was done. At least she'd kept something of him close by.

A wan smile touched his face as she said how she hadn't told Skylar and Faith that he had been in jail. "Maybe it would've been better if you'd just told them the truth," the words were spoken quietly, almost inaudible. "Cuz you know, I'm not getting out of this place any time soon if the administration has anything to say about the matter. I'd rather not have them hold onto a futile hope..." Because there was no way he - or her for that matter now - was going back home in the next few months. Maybe not even for years. However long the staff here intended to keep them until they were 'fixed', was how long they'd be stuck away from the twins.

``Tag: Serena
``Status: Complete
``Words: 414
``Outift: Click
``Lyrics: Let Me Hear Your Voice - Big Bang
``Credits: Template (C) Lu L.

[SERENA ROSE RANDOLF]

She watched matthew talk, and listened to him very well. She knew that it probably wasn't the best if skylar got his genes, well some of them. She lowered her head, and then sighed. Serena loved this boy. She knew he had issues, but so didn't serena. One thing though, she would make sure that skylar and faith had it all. She would make sure of that. Which is why she handed the care of them to her rich daddy. She sighed, and said" if he happens to have that, then I'll deal with it. He's my son. "

She loved those two kids more than anything. She would never let them grow up and be in one of these places. Look around, it's not a place serena wants to be. So she'd do anything to keep her kids out of this kind of place. She looked at Matthew when he said that. She laughed, and said" Of course I still have it! You know that was one of my favorite pictures of you and me." She laughed. It was when Serena didn't look so sickly though, and when things were good.

She listened to him again, and said" And scare little kids?" She sighed, and then looked down again. She thought for a minute and then said" I didn't even tell them where I was going, I would never. There two years old, Matt." She sighed, and then looked to the desk. The doc was gone. Serena smiled, and said" I told them I was leaving, but I would be back. I told them I would never forget about them, and to always look at the moon, because I would be looking at it too." She looked at him, and sighed. They were alone, something that ended bad last time. But you know what that bad decision landed her to having the best thing in her life. She looked down, moved her hair, and then said" Matthew, I don't regret these kids. They are my everything. I hope, you don't regret them, or what we had."