Post by WREN HARLOW YARNELL on Apr 29, 2010 5:41:02 GMT
WREN H. YARNELL
This world can be a scary place
And so much love goes to waste
One moment everything is clear
The next it all could disappear
• • • • • • • • • • • •
HAI THURRR~ MY NAME IS T-RIX and I HAIL
FROM EASTERNISHTHINGMAWHATSIT!
AREN'T YOU JEALOUS ;] YOU CAN CONTACT ME
BY PRIVATEMESSAGE ME BBY. OH,
AND I'VE BEEN ROLEPLAYING FOREVER NOW!
• • • • • • • • • • • •
This world can be a scary place
And so much love goes to waste
One moment everything is clear
The next it all could disappear
• • • • • • • • • • • •
HAI THURRR~ MY NAME IS T-RIX and I HAIL
FROM EASTERNISHTHINGMAWHATSIT!
AREN'T YOU JEALOUS ;] YOU CAN CONTACT ME
BY PRIVATEMESSAGE ME BBY. OH,
AND I'VE BEEN ROLEPLAYING FOREVER NOW!
• • • • • • • • • • • •
[/b]* / FULL NAME
* / NICKNAMES[/b]
* / AGE[/b]
* / GENDER[/b]
* / JOB[/b]
* / SEXUALITY[/b]
* / MEMBER GROUP[/b]
numb I need to go find Charlie and get more alright?[/ul]
* / CONDITIONS[/b]
- Dissociative Amnesia – “I don’t remember a whole lot of what happened before I woke up in the bus station. I can remember a man I think might have been my father fucking me and telling me it was all I was good for. I believe him. and I have that guy who always saves me and shows me love mixed into the memories but he can’t be real.”
- Sex Addict – “As I said it’s all I’m good for, others using my body to get pleasure normally with a payment so I can buy my medicines.”
- Selective Muteism – “Ok this can’t be a real condition can it? I mean so I pick and choose who I talk to and the majority of the people out there I just can’t be fucked talking to so yeah. And when it comes to talking to like whole groups of strangers or people I don’t really know…I freeze up vocally. Post-its though are a god-send and the greatest thing since sliced bread.”
- Drug Addiction – “It’s not a drug addiction it’s medicine damn it…it keeps me numb all over so I don’t hurt, and the others are just for if someone wants to have extra fun or something.”
- Alcohol Addiction – “Works almost as good as the drugs in the numbing. Good substitute when I can’t get to see Charlie for my meds.”
- Severely Bipolar/Manic Depressive Disorder – “Manic? Depression?….whatever everyone has their ups and downs why can’t anyone just understand that? Sometimes I’m the energizer bunny, sometimes I just give up. it’s normal. I guess people say sometimes I get a bit like…wild and other times I try to die. In between I’m just…what I am. An emotionless whore who needs her medicine like right now.”
- Suicidal/SelfHarming – “Ok so sometimes I just want to give up, but so far people keep finding me and I guess I’m not supposed to do that here? pft. We’ll see because when you feel it’s your time? You don’t give a flying fuck what anyone says right?”
- Primary Insomnia – “So what if I can’t sleep, what’s it matter? If I don’t sleep more people can pay me for sex and I can by more of my medicine.”
- Malnutrition – “Ok now you’re just nit-picking, I eat when I can and I drink a ton of coffee so it’s really not an issue ok?”
* / FACE CLAIM[/b]
• • • • • • • • • • • •
[/b]* / LIKES
- My Meds (drugs) – “They keep me numb and make me feel right. without them I’m just…I feel weird and I don’t like it.
- Sex – “Sometimes it’s not so bad depending on who it’s with…and besides if it’s all I’m good for I might as well like it right?”
- Acting – “If I wasn’t a good actress then everyone would know my thoughts and I wouldn’t have my reputation now would I? So acting is something I like so people don’t actually know me.”
- That white-knight in my dreams – “He saves me from the guy I think is my dad and shows me love…he’s the only one in my life to do that and he’s in my head…go figure.”
- Coffee – “Caffeine addict? No. I just like coffee ok?”
- My Cell – “Charlie Bought it for me so he could reach me when he got more of my meds or found someone who would pay me for the sex or I could call him to find out if he had any meds or something for me to do.”
- Window Shopping – “Clothes, shoes, electronics,
food, or really anything sold in a store. I love to go look and enjoy looking or trying stuff on since I can’t afford any of it. Haven’t had anything that was actually new or mine in two years now. I share everything but my phone with my “roommate” and the cell’s Charlie’s…” - Familiar Faces – “Makes it easier to talk to them.”
- Music – “God is there anything better? I think not…well other than my meds. It’s just…it hits deep with me.”
- Stuffed Animals – “They’re soft and they don’t expect anything from you.”
- Real Animals – “Just as soft but they’re more alive and friendly and seem to always know when you’re down even if no one else does because you’re good at hiding it.”
- Food – “Rare item for me but it’s good stuff. Normally I’m snagging some sort of fruit or a small sandwich.”
- Money – “Swear the stuff makes the world spin around because you’re fucked without it.”
- Beaches – “I like sitting in the sand listening to the waves. Swimming too is nice but it’s really just the sounds and scenic stuff I like most.”
- Dancing – “Just giving in to the music and letting yourself go to enjoy it and flail around? Wonderful.”
- Charlie – “He found me used to take pretty good care of me making sure I had my meds and got me the cell phone and all…I need to go see him soon.”
- Fairytales – “The stories with the happy endings? Love them because I guess they show me not everyone thinks the worlds fucked.”
- Makeup – “Makes you pretty when you’re getting to look raggity from a few days of no sleep.”
* / DISLIKES[/b]
- Not getting my meds – “I don’t like the way I feel when I don’t have them so I better get them while I’m here. and I don’t mean that shit you give out to the crazies I’m talking about my fucking meds from charlie!!”
- Bus’s/Bus-Stations – “The first thing I remember clearly is waking up in one alone and with nothing but the clothes on my back so yeah…not my favorite place to be in or near.”
- Crowds – “I can’t always make my voice work when there’s a crowd of strangers. It’s like…being scared but the only sign of the fear is that I can’t talk? Not that I’d admit to being afraid.”
- Sex – “It can be nice sometimes but not always. Sometimes it hurts or makes me feel…I don’t know…not human somehow? It’s hard to explain and I shouldn’t complain about my reason for existing I guess.”
- Money – “I don’t ever have it for long because I need it for everything else. And it’s something people can hurt you for if they don’t have it either and decide they want yours.”
- The nightmares when my white knight doesn’t show up – “They’re scary because that man hurts me and just keeps doing it and it feels like it’s never going to end. I wake up screaming normally when the white knight doesn’t come to my rescue.”
- Remembering – “My past was forgotten for a reason I figure so why bother remembering? Any time I feel like I’m coming close to remembering or actually do remember something I get over-flooded with emotions and it’s just…dizzying and painful.”
- Fairytales – “Pathetic but true, I’m jealous of the characters in the stories who end up happy once the bad-guy’s defeated.”
- My Ex-Roommate – “I shared a tiny room in this house that was owned by a guy who liked whores with this girl who was…well a thief, bitch, and just crazy since she’d randomly freak out at anyone who looked at her…she deserves to be here more than me if anyone bothered asking my opinion.”
- Living – “I don’t like the life I have, I want what some other people have to be loved and cared for to be someone who matters…but that’s not why I was made and so I just want to die. My roommate, clients, and whoever else found me never respected this or I’d be gone now.’
- Sleeping – “If you sleep someone can sneak up and steal everything you own or you lose money because you’re not fucking someone for cash so why would anyone sleep?”
- Hospitals/Doctors – “They try to kidnap you and put you into some sort of ‘housing’ that they think helps…it doesn’t and I hate doctors because they’re fucking creeps all of them. Take me near a hospital or doctor and you can bet your ass I’m gonna freak out.”
- Absolute Silence – “It’s just creepy when there’s absolutely no sound ok?”
- The Delusions/Hallucinations – “They happen when I’m really really up or really really down and they suck.”
- Myself – “I just hate myself. Simple as that.”
* / POSITIVE TRAITS[/b]
- Observative – “I fucking notice EVERYTHING and normally I chalk it up to paranoia but whatever right?”
- Acting Skills – “You will never truly know how I feel or if I’m ok unless I trust you and want you too because I’m just that damned good at acting how I want to appear.”
- Helpful – “Amazingly…I don’t mind helping other people. If everyone tried and helped the people around them the world might not be half bad. So I do my part and hope someday others will catch on and get their shit together.”
- Good Listener – “I may be fucked in the head, but that doesn’t mean I don’t give a damn and I’m a really good listener if you feel like talking to me.”
- Good Sex – “Finding something I haven’t done is rare/impossible so I make a good partner in bed.”
- Careful – “I don’t take many chances when I’m thinking straight so I nearly always remember to use protection and there was a woman doctor who did free checkups for people like me who I used to see to make sure I wasn’t getting anything. She didn’t freak me out because she worked out of her house and wasn’t the doctor-ish kind of doctor. She was nice.”
- Blunt/Honest – “I’m not going to lie to you because lies only come back to bite the liar in the ass and I don’t need that. plus you deserve to know the truth. I just don’t know how to tell it gently.”
- Direct – “When I want something I say so, no point spending half an hour hinting when I can just tell you and get it faster.”
- Wishful – “I may be a hopeless lost-cause but that doesn’t mean I can’t wish for a better life, I still dream of one day living in my own fairy tale I want that white knight to come save me for real but he never does. He’s just in my dreams.”
- The Good Days – “On the good days? I can be happy, smile and laugh genuinly, and can just feel like a normal human being again. These day’s are rare though so I enjoy them when they come and don’t miss them (too bad) when they’re gone.
- Secretive – “You tell me something and don’t want it to be public knowledge? Let me know you don’t want it shared and I’ll keep it to myself till the day I die.”
* / NEGATIVE TRAITS[/b]
- Manic Times – “Those times where I’m real hyper, not able to sit/stand still for more than a second, get really irritated/aggravated at everything, see people/things that aren’t there, think I’m the queen of the fucking world, get all reckless and dangerous, fuck like a rabbit with more than two people in a day or even at a time, don’t even think of sleeping and can’t focus on anything for longer than that second mentioned before, and basically think I’m indestructible? Yeah those aren’t so nice I’ve been told.”
- Depressed Times – “When I can’t concentrate, remember stuff you told me, make decisions, feel all ugh and don’t want food even if it’s available, actually feel tired, can’t stand being around people because I’m a waste of their time and just of space, try killing myself, and don’t even wanna have sex. These times aren’t so much fun either.
- Acting Skills – “I don’t trust people or really let them get close to me because they’re not supposed to so I act like how they expect me to be and keep everyone at a distance by never letting them truly see me for who I am.”
- Don’t Trust – “As I said I don’t let people in or trust them like ever because I just have a bad feeling about doing so…like I feel like I’ve done it before and been hurt by it but I can’t let myself remember that because that would hurt too much.”
- Liar – “Ok I don’t lie about anything except my moods but I guess that still makes me kinda a liar in the grand scheme of things.”
- Blunt/Honest – “I’m not about to become a liar or start sugar-coating everything to make people happy. Facts are facts and while sometimes the truth hurts? it’s one of those necessary pains that come with life so just fucking suck it up and deal with it. ”
- The inability to speak at times – “They call it selective mutism I call it that annoying moment when I freeze up around a group of people and can’t talk.”
- Suicide – “I want to die…even when it’s not a ‘depressed time’ I still just want to give in to that voice in my head telling me I should just go away and stop bothering everyone around me.”
- Sarcastic – “I can at times be very sarcastic and sometimes that will lose me customers and even friends if I bother trying to make one.”
- Distanced – “While I want a fairytale ending, I’ll never get it because I tend to push people away when they try to get close to me for something other than sex. I actually sometimes physically push them away, but mostly I just keep them from getting to know me and keep them at a distance so they can’t get close then hurt me.”
- Jealous – “I get jealous of people who have love, happiness, or people who give a damn. It makes me treat them badly and I shouldn’t since they obviously weren’t born for the same purpose as me and so they’re allowed to have those things. But I can’t help it sometimes.”
• • • • • • • • • • • •
[/b]* / HOMETOWN
* / PARENTS[/b]
- Loren “Honey” Newman - Dead
- Bain Yarnell - Dead
* / SIBLINGS[/b]
- Falcon Newman - 20
* / OTHER FAMILY[/b]
- Charlie Winters – 39 [drug dealer]
* / HISTORY[/b]
The stuff she doesn’t remember is the growing up part of her life and while that’s ok to her, it’s still good to know right? Well I’m that part of her mind that keeps it locked up till I feel like sharing a piece so I’m going to tell you. Born to parents who had nothing but a money arrangement she was doomed from the start really. Her mother was a whore who pushed out two kids for the very high price her dad paid to have them, the first her mom requested (demanded) had her last name, which is why Falcon’s last name is different than Wrens. She followed her brother two years later when her dad decided the son would just follow his footsteps and another child was needed to bring in money. She was literally born to have sex. That’s all her dad wanted her for was to have sex and to have people pay him for the chance to fuck her through her life. As the two children got older Falcon became very protective of his little sister and cared a lot for her since she was so precious and small. Her fifth birthday was Falcons first lesson in sex and the first time daddy did the naughty with her. After he was done Falcon was the one who held and comforted the terrified little girl because daddy just told her to shut up. The two went to school and at night was daddy’s time to teach them how “life was supposed to be” for them. They were made to think it was normal for this to happen and by her seventh birthday she was meeting daddy’s friends (people who were willing to pay) and doing her job in life with them too. It was always Falcon who would comfort her whenever she hurt or was scared, it was always him who took care of her. His father had taught him it was his job to make sure that his little sister was clean and “pretty” because no one would want her if she wasn’t. Her older brother was her hero and without him she’d have died even at that young age because she wouldn’t have been able to handle all that was happening.
When they got older Falcon started realizing that it wasn’t right, what their father did to Wren and how he was letting other men use her. By the time she was ten Falcon was being locked out of the house regularly because he kept trying to protect her from everything happening. She tried to tell her older brother it was ok because it was all she was good for, totally brainwashed. Her sex addiction came from her believing it was the only thing she had in life. It was at a young age she started showing the signs of her bipolar issues and her insomnia too, sometimes a very hyperactive girl and sometimes very not and rarely did she sleep because she’d have the nightmares if Falcon wasn’t in the house where she could cuddle up to him and feel safe asleep. Her dad’s friends would drop by any time they felt like and so if Falcon was there and her father didn’t feel like fighting with his son in front of an audience she was safe for that short time. When she was eleven her father started making the threats about sending Falcon away and at the boy desperate to make sure she knew he cared and would always be there for her did something only he and she know about. He made love to her, showed her it didn’t always have to hurt and that someone who loved you could make it special rather than just life and she loved him all the more for it. After that he took a pocket knife and carved a W into the bottom of his big toe, and an F into hers. They would wear the scars forever and know they always had each other or that’s what he meant by it. When her father saw her F he was furious and beat Falcon for marking her up in that way. It was because of that happening that at around the age of twelve her dad got fed up with Falcon’s ways and had him sent away by talking a regular customer into staging an attack that could get him locked up in Juviee for awhile. Without Falcon things got a whole lot worse really fast, she even stopped going to school because she couldn’t walk or move properly without hurting somewhere. The customers who wanted more than just sex but wanted to play and maybe even cause harm paid more so her dad was happy to have them as often as she could handle without dying.
When she was fourteen is when it happened, one night her father came at her while she was making dinner, which was another of her jobs in life he told her. She would have to provide for others in a sexual way and for him in that and food. She was cutting something and when he touched her waist she snapped, attacking and stabbing him over and over even after the man was dead. She’d not even planned to kill her father, sure the idea had crossed her mind at least once before but she’d never thought to actually do it. It was during one of her irritated mood times and when he was good and dead she huddled up in the corner. She stayed in that house not answering the door or answering the phone for two weeks, the smell was horrible and her mind had in a way cracked. It was after those two weeks that Falcon had gotten out of Juviee and came home, her father had planned to send him away again since he couldn’t prevent him getting out. When he got to the house and found it locked he tried one of the windows and getting it open was hit with the smell. When he found her eating peas out of a tin one at a time to prevent eating them too fast and having no more food he took her away from there. Cleaned her up and fed her by selling some of the things he’d taken from the house. He’d taken all the money he could find of his dad and got them a hotel room and things so they didn’t have to go back to the house. He was her hero again and she held tight to him not ever wanting her brother to go away again because things got really bad when he wasn’t there. A year later unable to support her or himself Falcon made the choice to walk away. He figured the police would find her where he left her and she’d be safe but he couldn’t end up locked away again or something and had gotten an offer for an early-training spot for the army. He only had a year to go before he could be in fully and he took that chance. Taking her to the bus station with him where he’d catch the bus to the place for the training he sat with her there for awhile, telling her he loved her and keeping her close and trying to find the nerve to do what he had to do. As she started falling asleep on his shoulder his bus pulled up and he station and he stood up telling her he had to go. She tried to go with him but he just picked her up and sat her back on the bench telling her she couldn’t go this time. He told her to stay there or find an officer somewhere in there and ask for help. Though she begged and screamed for him to come back and not go as he got on the bus he didn’t. The scene she was causing got attention but Falcon just told the security guard he didn’t know her and that she had just started following him when he came into the station. Anyone who’d seen them sitting together before he went onto the bus kept their mouths shut for whatever their reasons and the bus pulled away leaving a screaming and terrified Wren behind. The security guard tried to calm her, tried to get her to tell him where her parents were and eventually left her when he got the words “coming” from her jumbled mumbling and sobs. He figured she meant someone was coming to get her when in truth she just kept saying “he’s coming back…he has to be coming back…just a day trip…Falcon would never leave me...” over and over.
She fell asleep on that bus bench the next day a blank slate…
What she can remember ain’t that great ::
ok so my history? Right well I don’t know my parents, I don’t think I have any brothers or sisters and the firs thing I remember was waking up on one of those benches in the bus station that you can sit kinda comfy and wait for your bus to come. I don’t know how I got there, or why I was there but I remembered how to do the basics and most words. It’s like I knew how to live but I didn’t remember the actual living or learning how. After waking up there I started wandering around and avoiding the police because for reasons unknown to me I was afraid of them. After a week with no food and sleeping out on the streets I ran into a spot of trouble with my ever-shifting moods and things, running out of the energy to handle them and needing something bad. It was then that I saw the woman standing on the sidewalk talking to a guy, she was making a deal for money with him and curious I listened to more. She was going to sleep with him for money, 1) who talked about this stuff in public? And 2) could anyone do that or was it just her? I didn’t know but the next day I went back and she was there again so I asked. She was the one who introduced me to Charlie and he was the one who told me all I needed to know. He gave me something that made me feel better, I went numb and was able to focus more. He asked questions I couldn’t answer and showed me where I could go to “work” in the area and let me sleep on his couch for the first few days. Once I had a little money he let me spend it on some clothes so I wouldn’t always be wearing the same thing and then after that he showed me where I could live and made me start paying for my medicine. I didn’t mind paying because it helped me feel better.
The nightmares pissed off my roommate where I was staying, she yelled a lot about me waking up screaming but life fell into a bit of a pattern for me. I’d wake up, clean up, take my meds, snag some sort of fruit from the kitchen then go work. My moods were a bit better when I was on the medicine though sometimes it still went wrong and I ended up all weird. A few times it got bad enough that I was found bleeding somewhere and begging my finder to just let me die. I didn’t like this life, I didn’t want to live this way anymore and they wouldn’t let me go. So I kept working and taking my medicine. I needed the medicine every day by then because without it I’m really really fucked up and things are more…well I could feel more clearly and that’s not good. Sometimes I’d take other drugs with customers or drink, or even try new stuff Charlie got because I trusted him. He became kinda like a brother to me and I cared about him so I’d do nearly anything for him. Sex was my purpose as the memories in my nightmares kept reminding me. I remembered being screwed by my father, and a white-knight coming to my rescue. The guy helping me was obviously a figment in my imagination though since no one would actually care about someone like me and because I didn’t feel like I knew him when I thought about him. The man who was hurting me I just….felt was my father. Knowing without actually knowing. I kept to my pattern, not realizing my problems because I wasn’t looking for them or paying attention. My roommate was though and she was trying to find a way to boot me out so when that strange guy started coming around and asking questions she was only too happy to fill him in on the oddness of me. The first day I saw him it was just a quick glimpse when I thought I was being followed, after that it was always just that quick glimpse for a week nearly everywhere I went. I didn’t know what he wanted but it was really starting to freak me out, and the worst part was he looked like my white-knight from what I could see of him. That was just too freaky. The day he caught me? I thought I was making a deal for sex and the guy led me to a car, stupid me jumped right in and there he was, in the flesh my white knight. A little different looking than in my dreams, older but still him. He brought me here, said he worked here and he knew me and that he was going to make sure I got help…he was fucking nutz and I almost got away from him but obviously it didn’t work since I’m here now. They’ve taken away my meds, they’ve given names to my problems and they’re trying to fix me. What they don’t seem to understand is I don’t need fixed, I need my meds and to get back to work since it’s all I’m good for. That or death but they won’t allow that either I was told. Fucking great. So now I’ve got to avoid that guy as well as try to figure out a way to get them to let me go. That or fuck my way through this place to get them to let me go or to at least get them to let me have my proper meds not their bullshit stuff that doesn't do anything for me? I’m sure someone can be bribed right?[/ul]
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• • • • • • • • • • • •
THIS APPLICATION WAS MADE BY MIADAY PARADE AND IS FOR HER USE ONLY.
THIS APPLICATION WAS MADE BY MIADAY PARADE AND IS FOR HER USE ONLY.
