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Post by WHILEMINA JAIDEN BROOKES on May 2, 2010 7:52:17 GMT
ALL I EVER REALLY WANTED WAS TO BE THE SAME EQUAL TREATMENT NEVER COMES AND HERE THEY GO AGAINALL I EVER REALLY WANTED WAS TO BE LIKE YOUWilhelmina didn't like the dark. She was completely and utterly terrified of it to be completely honest. She closed her eyes as she sat isolated in the basement. Her stomach growled, her arms where bloodied, and smelt faintly of alcohol. But worst of all where the tear stains on her cheek. Stupid anxiety attack, thats what had led to her doing all of this. The detox had hurt her even just in the begining, and she got scared. Riley hadn't been there, he hadn't been there to calm her and tell her the pain was worth it...and so she'd broken and done everything she'd told him she wouldn't. The eating thing, however, was a preference. she liked Riley allot...and in her eyes, her 110 pound body was fat. Fatter then anything she imagined, she stared in the mirror with disgust, and winced everytime RJ undressed her.
She rocked lightly. "I can do this" she said quietly, trying to motivate herself, though in the back of her mind someone kept telling her she couldn't. She closed her eyes tightly, the blade still clutched in her hand. She'd done a bit of damaged, re-opening almost all her old scars with a purpose. Riley surely would be disgusted. Even if he didn't tell ehr outright.
She ran her fingers through her bright red hair, a few tears still falling down her face. She only had Riley, no one else talked to her, no one else knew she existed, and no one else would notice if she was missing from all three meals, any social gatherings, and the upper levels of the asylum entirely.
She'd come down here for a reason though, he always had women around him. As much as she wished he'd like her the way she liked him--which secretly was still something she hoped to convince him of--she knew that he had more women then her quite often. She swallowed hard and looked up, moans and other couples filled the area and she just closed her eyes. "Riley." she said quietly, "I can do this for Riley" she kicked her razor blade away from her hand and whimpered lightly. [/size] [/b][/color] Done done done TAG. Rylie <3 OUTFIT. hereLYRICS. Breathe-- Nickelback NOTES. here CREDIT. Thank you Katie of THE ROSE![/ul] |
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Post by RILEY JAMES TYLER on May 2, 2010 14:24:35 GMT
He liked the basement, he always had. If he needed to do a drug deal, it was in the basement. If he wanted a quick shag, it was in the basement. And if he wanted to get away from everyone, like right now, it was the basement he fled to. There was something about the darkness surrounding him that was oddly comforting. It was like being dead without actually being dead, which was quite morbid to think about but strangely comforting to him all the same. If was like before he came here when he had purposely overdosed, attempting to just stop everything...it had all been dark then too. Then again, it also helped to get him landed in here, and boy was he a happy camper for it now. Not. He was away from his family, which he counted as a blessing more times than not, but he was also trapped, and had been for four years now. They might as well have chucked him in prison. At least there the bars were in front of him instead of in his head.
This place was unbearable most days, and those were the good days. He had not had a fix in more than a day, though, and he was sure that that pain of heroin detox was going to kill him faster thant he drugs ever would. Maybe just one hit, something to take the edge off, and he would be fine. In his head he knew it was a lie, but anything was better than this. It was like someone had put white-hot needles all through his body, making his skin itch to the point where he had drawn blood more than once scratching it, trying to relieve some of the pain. Nothing worked.
The worst part about no drugs? Aside from the pain and shakes and sweat? He could not block out the voices as well. The medication did some, but it was not always enough. No wonder you're in here, nutcase....No one likes you, you're not even worth their time....Why not just off yourself and do everyone a favor....Worthless....It was like listening to a badly tuned radio, where one minute it was fairly quiet and the next his ears were ringing from the shouting.
Whimpering to himself, even the calming darkness not helping him, Riley pushed himself off of the floor, muttering to himself as he headed for the exit. Maybe Whilemina would help. She liked him, for whatever reason, and seemed to want to help, but what if it was all some lie? Liam, who had not visited him in a while and also someone no one else claimed to be able to see, was walking beside him. "You alright?" he asked, voice full of concern. Riley shook his head, gnawing on his fingernails. "Where are you going, Riley?"
"To see Willy," he mumbled, scratching his arms as that incesant itching started up again. "Fuck!" he muttered, starting to get desperate.
Liam rolled his eyes. "You know what? I don't like this. You are supposed to look out for us. What's gonna happen if you put this girl into the picture?" Riley didn't answer, continuing to walk, giving Liam plenty of room to keep talking, planting those seeds of doubt in his ear. "She doesn't like you like she says she does anyway, you know. Any time someone says that they end up using you and then they're gone. Don't you learn? And when are you going to stop this bullshit detox? I don't like seeing you like this."
"Shut up!" Riley snapped, practically tripping over someone and sprawling to the floor. Liam went to help him, but Riley pushed him away. "Stop," he mumbled, making Liam scowl and back off. Riley got back to his feet stiffly, looking around for whatever he had tripped over and stopping. Well, at least he did not have to go looking for her, but that did not mean he was entirely happy to see her.
"Willy.....what happened?"
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Post by WHILEMINA JAIDEN BROOKES on May 2, 2010 18:02:08 GMT
ALL I EVER REALLY WANTED WAS TO BE THE SAMEEQUAL TREATMENT NEVER COMES AND HERE THEY GO AGAINALL I EVER REALLY WANTED WAS TO BE LIKE YOU The steps neared her, he was talking...she didn't look up to see to who. She just hoped he'd see her before he got hurt tripping over her. He said he was looking for her, she'd just opened her mouth to say something when he found her...or rather fell over her. She gasped a little, becoming slightly more alert as he hit the ground. She asked, "Are you okay" at the same time he asked her what happened, to which she promptly replied, "I...tripped?" she squirmed a little. Her stomach gurgled loudly and her head was spinning.
She stood up, her legs shaking a little. But it wasn't from detox or anything...she'd stopped those shivers. This was from the eating part. She wrapped her bloodied arms around riley and hid her face in his chest, "I...I...got scared Ri..." she whimpered just a little and looked up at him, "I got scared cause i couldn't find you and my anxiety acted up and then i started to hurt everywhere...and i got scared..."
Her eyes where tear-filled, but she was trying to be strong--something she apparently failed at. "I have to start from scratch again" she sighed, centering herself a little. Her anxiety attack mellowed just being near him, something about him did that...she still wasn't sure what. But he did. She inhaled, then exhaled...trying her best to get through this attack without freaking Riley out. She brushed her hair from her face and squirmed a little, lacing her tiny little fingers through his larger ones. "Ri? If you DO get out before me...don't forget i existed?" she wasn't even sure she'd ever get out, as far as she was concerned she was the worlds biggest fuck up and ugliest one at that. She shivered lightly and hoped Riley wouldn't notice her lack of a)clothing b)nutrition. "i...who where you talking to Riley?" she asked softly, her hand touched his cheek in worry. Had the voices been lying to him again? She hated the voices, more then he probably hated them. She kissed his cheek, careful not to touch his lips because of the alcohol and drugs in her mouth. [/size] [/b][/color] Done done done TAG. Rylie <3 OUTFIT. hereLYRICS. Breathe-- Nickelback NOTES. here CREDIT. Thank you Katie of THE ROSE![/ul] |
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Post by RILEY JAMES TYLER on May 3, 2010 0:51:27 GMT
Riley simply stared. There was blood everywhere and her arms were like miniature rivers of crimson. Well, that was unexpected. Liam peered from around the corner. "Holy shit man, and you thought you had problems?" Riley glared at him to get him to shut up, and smirking, Liam leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest and watching with mild interest as Riley moved forward toward Willy, slightly uncertain.
The next thing he knew she was hugging him, the blood on her arms seeping into his shirt and getting on his skin. It was an odd feeling, but it was not as though it mattered. He hugged her back, swallowing hard and trying to think what to do or even say. She had started her own detox because he had, thinking it would be easier for him. Not like this, though.
"We should get you to the hospital wing," he said as she pulled away, gingerly grabbing one of her arms and looking it over, frowning. He shook his head. "I'm not getting out any time soon as it is and I'm not going to forget." Behind him he heard Liam snort and almost turned to throw something at him, or he would have if he had anything in his hands to throw. That guy just needed to learn to shut up sometimes...Which made him turn back to Willy. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder in Liam's direction in annoyance, not even thinking about the fact that she couldn't see him. "It's just Liam, just ignore him."
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