Her Happy Ending _ {Riley}

[RIONA IMOGEN PHIPPS]

She sat outside in the dark, in the cold, the wind snaking around her biting coldly at the exposed skin of her arms. The moon was hidden behind the clouds and the distant roll of thunder made her shake but not feel afraid. It was the tension in the sound, the growl of it that called to her that anger, hurt, and frustration that to her mind gathered there from those living under the clouds and let loose in that one sound. The lightning was the passion, life, and joy that came off those in the world who could have it. Then there was the rain, the part of a storm that held the pain, sorrow, and loss. She could relate to all three elements in one way or another, though only two clearly. The thunder and rain were her in a nut shell, and sometimes she’d feel the flare of passion or rarely joy that came with lightning. The feeling of being alive and having life? She had only felt that a handful of times in her seventeen years. The weirdest thing about that was not the lack of the feeling of life…but the fact that she only felt it here in an asylum with a bunch of kids as fucked up or more fucked up than her.

She hadn’t planned on coming out here, hadn’t planned on there being a storm but it seemed right now that she was sat on the grass razor sliding between her fingers as she played with it while lost in thought. Her stomach was still a mess from the last time she’d tried getting rid of the fat there, and her arms from the time she’d thought she might actually pull it off and get away. Of course she’d just gone all cata-whatever and had been nearly poked to death by a very strange guy who actually scared her a little. But people did that generally. She didn’t show it but strangers were a little bit of a fear of hers, though she’d jump right into a cuddle so fast you’d never catch that moment of nervous doubt. Trust was something she didn’t do often, though she’d call someone friend and talk about nearly anything. There were only a handful of people she actually trusted and who she hoped trusted her in turn. She couldn’t know though and so she didn’t let herself think or worry about it.

As the thunder rolled again she pulled herself from her thoughts and focused on the razor biting a lip and pulling off her shoes she looked at the bottom of her right foot. The scars there were different than anywhere else, these had meaning and there was a sense of order. The lines were side by side, a tally of something only she knew and that only she would ever know. It wouldn’t make sense to anyone else, and she didn’t want to explain because it would hurt, and because then she’d have to show a part of her heart, her soul, she kept locked tight. It was a tally of the times she’d thought one specific thought, and how many times she’d been proven wrong. The number was still small…eight though she was adding a ninth now and as the blade cut into her skin lightning flashed across the sky in the area the thunder was coming from. The storm was coming, the wind picking up a bit more now around where she sat as she watched blood flow from the new cut. She’d planned on only that…but watching it she felt the pull, the temptation. Sweet whispers in her mind, more…you know you want to. no one is around we can end this now with our storm coming. the voice whispered sounding too much like herself to just be voices because she knew better. It was her own wishes and desires. No one around…it would be easy… she said aloud as she looked at her arms and considered her options. It would be over before anyone found her, who else was crazy enough to come out in this storm? She knew the time was right and shifting she skimmed the blade lightly along the skin of her arm. Planning to enjoy this and do it her way. The first was shallow, barely a scratch really but a tiny bit of blood appeared and her lips twisted in a smile.

TAGGED ** Riley
STATUS ** Finished
WORDS ** some
OUTFIT ** grey today CLICK
LYRICS ** MIKA – HAPPY ENDING
NOTES ** sorry it's not a lighter thread
CREDIT ** Made by Suzie but since she’s ma sis she can hit me or something for usin it.

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[RILEY JAMES TYLER]

He couldn't sleep. His body felt like it was being set to fire and no one was around to help. They were all standing in a circle with bucket of water to help quench the flames but they did nothing, simply standing there and watching him suffer. Or such was his mindset. Then again, he was not in the best mindsets right now to begin with. His whole body ached and burned and his head was killing him. His skin was on fire and he was seeing and hearing things that were...well, even more disturbing than usual, and that was saying something for him. He was used to the voices and even dellusions like Liam, but this...this was worse by tenfold. He was going insane, he knew it.

It had been nearly two days since he had last slept, and while he was no strange to the constant plague of fatigue that did not mean he was not missing even those few hours he managed to find at times. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, giving him a sunken look, like some corpse brought back from the deepths but even with that salvation it was too late. It was always too late for him. He had drawn the short straw the day he was born, so why would it change now? He was fucked no matter what he did. Continue with the detox and he might kill himself just to stop the pain. Stop the detox and go back to never seeing his sister again and being miserable for the rest of his life as well. No matter what way he looked at it, he was never going to be whole. That just was not in the cards for him.

The funny thing about insomnia was that he never really knew where he was, but then again with the schizophrenia he never really knew where he was anyway. Which explained him wandering around outside in the rain as lightning tore through the sky. It was rather dramatic, he thought, almost like those movies he used to watch at home on Saturday nights while his mother was passed out drunk on the couch. He looked skyward, the rain pelting his face and making lines on his skin, cold to the touch and soaking him through to the bone in minutes.

[RIONA IMOGEN PHIPPS]

The blade felt cold against her skin, but warmed as she kept using it, lines, side by side along her skin each deeper than the last as she went. She wasn’t the type to play normally, going for the quick and effective because she normally was afraid of being found or caught in the act. Out here with the approaching storm? She was fairly sure she’d be left alone till it passed or someone saw her through a window. She doubted that would happen until the next day though and by then she’d be gone and they couldn’t stop her anymore. That was what she hated most about this place, she couldn’t even find the space to breath without them telling her she couldn’t do one thing or another. She liked the cutting, it gave her a release, something else to focus on when she needed a distraction. And it gave her that chance of death, if she did it right she’d be gone and that’s what she wanted when you looked at the big picture.

Rio may come across as bubbly, cuddly, happy, and ok at times, but there was always that nagging feeling that she was butting into people’s lives, annoying them, and being in the way. She didn’t want to be a burden, but she loved cuddling and being close to people. She couldn’t help that part of herself and so ended up causing the other things. If she could end herself she wouldn’t be doing that anymore then would she? She’d be out of everyone’s way. one wrist done apart from the final line she brought the razor to her other. She’d do the two final ones last and together so she could lay back and enjoy the storm as she went. Cheesy but she was a girl who loved fairytales and this was her fairytale ending. No prince charming but a good way to finish the book of Rio.

Her foot on her lap from her personal tally had bled onto her leg where she’d rested it and her other arm was now starting to drip slightly from it’s attention. It was slow enough it could be stopped and she’d be ok, though it wouldn’t be and the finals would be hard to stop once she’d done them. Catching movement out of the corner of her eye she froze halfway through the second wrists second line. She was unsure if maybe it was a tree, and prayed it wasn’t a person. She didn’t know how to handle the disappointment of not being allowed to finish what she’d started. Maybe it was just some random kid who’d keep going and leave her alone? Only one way to find out and she turned her head in that direction, her eyes landing on one of the list of people she did not want to see right now. Riley. Teeth worrying her lip she tried to think of a way to sneak off further into the night without being noticed and gave up when she realized her hair would be like a beacon even in the dark. She needed to dye it black or something. It was time to see if she could talk him into going away it seemed. Riley? Is that you? she called out though she knew it was. Maybe she’d just point out that it was about to storm and make up something about heading inside and slip off around somewhere he wasn’t?

TAGGED ** Riley
STATUS ** Finished
WORDS ** some
OUTFIT ** grey today CLICK
LYRICS ** MIKA – HAPPY ENDING
NOTES ** none
CREDIT ** Made by Suzie but since she’s ma sis she can hit me or something for usin it.

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