``Lying Isn't A Sin When You Don't Exist

[DUSTIN SKY HALLIDAY]

He should have been yelled at. But he wasn't. Instead, for some unknown reason, the staff was enjoying it. Soft and mellow. He was barefoot again and was bleeding a bit on his foot from walking around and stepping on a bit of glass. But he took it as a positive since it led him to the library to sit down. Sitting down, on a couch, he had brought his legs up. Sitting crisscross, the guitar pick played against the strings. And the other insane people in this place could care less. So he wasn't in particularly disturbing anyone yet. Only problem he could cause was the blood on the couch. Had even felt it? He knew he was bleeding but was it really him that was bleeding? Or the guy that was sitting there playing the guitar?

He played the acoustic smoothly, speaking softly afraid he would disturb someone. He liked it in here. Or the boy on the couch at least did. "Wanting to leave but can't get away. Sanctuary torn down and thrown into decay. You feel sick, because your escape has vanished," he sang, note book open beside him. He doubted he could relate to anyone here truly but he had to remember it was still always possible. Nothing was impossible. Or so the optimistic mind was forced to wonder. He hadn't really known what else to do today. He had already prepared the birthday song he had planned to sing to Mayumi. And he had written the notes for "Escape," the song he currently sang. Now all he figured he could do was practice. Or go outside and enjoy the nature. Probably try and find a bunny and feed it. Bunnies were cute.

He paused, unnaturally frozen. The boy on the couch had stopped playing. Why? Was it because he felt no longer in control? Dustin had felt extremely unattached to his body. Even though he began playing again, it still didn't feel right. Watching some mysterious boy play on the couch like a movie. Couldn't you see the spot light on him? Singing because he felt alone in a world he didn't exist in? But yet, the boy on the couch existed. How was it he could exist but not him, Dustin himself who still sat there playing the guitar?

And if the confusion hadn't started for ones mind yet, it surely began in that last line. Depersonalization disorder. Still undiagnosed for him. But he knew he had it. Or whoever he was supposed to be had it. No one knew better than him how he thought it felt to not be there and not exist. To not have a name or face. To not have a body to at least reside in. No one, absolutely no one knew how it felt besides him. Or maybe not even him? He hardly knew how it felt to not exist. To not exist is to remain white, emotionless. To not be there meant you could feel. Your senses seemed gone. But yet, Dustin really was still there. There and breathing, playing guitar on the couch. He just had a hard time realizing it in his current episode.

"You're empty as if you were stoned, hiding away in a place unknown. You feel dead, because your existence never mattered as much as the said."

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Tagged: Tara
Words: 565
Lyrics: Affinity by Red Car Wire
Outfit: in top picture <3
Notes: Sorry it took so long and might be a bit dull and confusing. Enjoy.
Credit: copyright panicxheart

[TARA ELIZABETH CROSS]

It was dark, and quiet, just how Tara liked it. There was not a sound for miles and miles and miles. Okay so not really miles. But Tara was in the very back of the library, searching for some books to read. Tara was big on reading and was determined to read just about every book this library had to offer. That was her goal, to read each book, starting from the back of the library and working her way up. No one read these old books anyway. So she knew she would not be bothered back here. She'd just returned a few books, and she could see where they belonged, for there was a rather large hole in the book shelf. She grabbed the next few books in the line, before plopping herself down. Right there on the floor, reading.

Tara usually read here by herself. She did not have to deal with her roommates, she did not have to hear the screams from the crazy people in the dorm room next to hers. She was just left alone to get lost in the book she read. She got a few pages in when something caught her ear. It was so soft so quite, she could hear doors open from the rooms around the library. But she herd music. At first she figured she was crazy, so she ignored it, but the sound kept hitting her ear, and she had no choice but to go look for the music being played.

She searched the library for just a moment. Her ears leading the way through the shelves of books. The sounds was getting louder, and she knew who ever was playing was just on the other side of the shelf. Using the holes in the shelf, she looked to see who was playing but was unable to see anything but the back of a boys head. With a small huff she rounded the corner, to see the male playing his guitar. Though it was quite the song, this was a library, should it be...quiet? Then again... this was music, not noise. So there was quite a difference.

The boy had stopped playing and Tara was slightly confused, she made her way around the sofa, so she was facing the young male who began to play once more. Worry creased Tara's face, as she watched the young male. But before she could realize what he was saying she saw the blood stain on the sofa under the young males foot. "Baby...? your bleeding." She spoke softly looking at his injured foot. Before she could say anything more she found herself on her knees digging in her large purse, that hung over her shoulder, for some bandages. Tara always had her purse with her, and there were wonders to be held in that thing. You need it, Tara has it in that purse of hers. Tara pulled out a ace bandage a small flask of alcohol, some gauze and tape. Tara was no medic, but she knew her fair share of first aid. When your into the drugs, you just sorta pick up on stuff. She'd rather fix it herself then get some doctor involved, who could potentially call the cops on her. Anyway she did enjoy Discovery Health channel...sometimes at least.

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[DUSTIN SKY HALLIDAY]

Dustin looked up to see someone standing there. He continued playing but was curious. Was she just there to watch and listen or did she need something from him? Oh, he hoped he wasn't disturbing her! He'd feel bad about that. It was rude to play in the library after all. Glancing around slightly with a calm expression, he checked to make sure no one else had seemed to be disturbed. Maybe it was just her specifically? He still felt bad.

The song was about to end when he stopped playing as the girl was now closer to him, examining his foot. He had forgotten he was bleeding. Now he was wondering if there was any glass left in his foot. He knew the boy on the couch could probably feel it if there was but could he, himself? Nope. Smiling, he gave her a look of being okay. He watched her, digging stuff out of her purse. Who knew women would carry so many things around. No wonder the bags were always so big. It made him wonder what guys carried in their man purses. Maybe hammers and other tools while girls had makeup and apparently health type supplies?

"You don't need to help. I'm fine but thank you," he said with the innocent grin of his. He adjusted his guitar, setting it down upward against the couch. He was worried about it breaking but at the same time, he knew it'd be fine. He brought both of his legs off of the couch so that they'd be hanging down, not wanting anymore possible blood on the couch. All he needed was cleaner and a rag to get the blood stains removed. Who'd want to sit on a couch with something like that on it? Then again, who knew how many other things were on it. But he didn't want to think about that.

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Tagged: Tara
Words: 317
Lyrics: Affinity by Red Car Wire
Outfit: in top picture <3
Notes: shotshortshortshortshort..>.< Sorry it took so long..
Credit: copyright panicxheart

[TARA ELIZABETH CROSS]

Tara had been on her knees in front of him looking at the cut on the bottom of his foot. It was nothing she could not handle. "It's no bother hon." she said, opening the little flask of alcohol. "It's gonna sting when I pour the alcohol on it...." She said still not sure if he wanted her help or not. But she was determined to do anything she could to help. Tara may not be very useful, but she tried very hard to be. She knew very little, so what she did know, she practiced as much as possible. Tara smiled up at him as he shifted, which pretty much meant he though he was fine, and did not need help. "Are you sure you don't want me to help you with that?" She asked the alcohol in her hand ready to go. She did not really want to use what little alcohol she had on the mans foot, but it was better then nothing. She might as well use it for good, she could always get high. Not like she needed it, she was not addicted to Alcohol.

Tara shifted so she was sitting cross legged on the floor by his feet. Tara was used to sitting on the floor, in fact she normally prefers the floor to sofas. She has yet to be offered a seat on a sofa by someone in her gang. So when she sat down, if someone wanted her seat she'd have to get up anyway. Not too many people wanted to sit on the floor, so that really helped her laziness. Anyway she did not want to get in anyone's way. So best to sit on the floor. Tara began to dig in her purse again, looking for maybe some Tylenol or some kind of narcotic. She did not want him to be in pain, who ever he was. She was a lover not a fighter, so she could not help but want to help even if he did not want her help. She'd still be fixed on the wound until she was aloud to fix it. It was in her nature to care for others before herself.

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