JJ's Journals

[JORDYN DANIELLE MOORE]

{ JUST JORDYN }

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~ Welcome to my WORLD ~[/center]

[JORDYN DANIELLE MOORE]

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rescue me
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July 2010 @ 2:42AM

f uck my l ife

Soo.. this place, Stanfield as they like to call it, s u c k s. Ohh, look, I can spell. I do not want to be here, though I am not denying that I have problems. Still doesn't mean I wanna be here. But I do have to say its better then being with my mom. No one to molest and beat me here. I guess I kinda, sorta, maybe have to be thankful for that. Doesn't mean I like it here though. I wonder if anyone would miss me if I were to off myself. Well, not like I'd have anything to do that with, at least not in the way I'd prefer to off myself. Hanging myself just doesn't seem like an option. And drugs? Ha. That's funny. Not that I probably couldn't overdose on some. God knows I take plenty of them. Still wouldn't be my preferred way of killing myself. Holy freak. I've written enough. Time to go.

Just Jordyn

[JORDYN DANIELLE MOORE]

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and... its him
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July 2010 @ 5:35PM

k eep h im a way f rom me

As if this place couldn't be even more of a pain... ooh shit, guess I was wrong on that one. Insert Craig Jace Sutherland here. Yes, the biggest asshole, ever! Biggest asshole in this place that's for sure. Although I did get the victory of messing up his damn shirt. That was always a plus. But.. I can't figure out for the life of me as to why, while I'm writing this, that very shirt is laying across the back of my chair. Though, its clean now. But still. Why not just get rid of it? Well.. that's easy enough. Cause I'm an idiot and I think the biggest asshole here is also very much cute. And the shirt just so happens to smell like him. Gahhh, I'm such a weirdo. I keep telling myself to throw it out. Its freaky, and weird. But who cares. Not me, (actually, i kinda do) maybe because I shouldn't really like him. Its not like he'd ever actually be nice to me anyways. I do not understand why that's such a problem. It kinda isn't, at least for me. He seems unattached to any emotions at all besides being an asshole. Oh well, maybe, just maybe, he likes me too but doesn't know how to show it? wishful thinking, Jordyn. Oh well, for right now hating him seems like a good plan. If only I could actually do it.

Just Jordyn

[JORDYN DANIELLE MOORE]

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you stupid girl
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July 2010 @ 11:52AM

im a r eally s tupid g irl

My stupidity did occur to me before now but, hey, maybe I was just good at ignoring it. Can't seem to do that now. My life is completely trashed.. and look at who trashed it. [daydreams] SHIT! Why did I do that? Why did I tell him how I felt? Why? WHy? WHY? Although I'm not sure he remembers much, if any of it, so I kinda have to be thankful for that, right? Right. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I can't silence that little voice in my head that says I wish'd he'd just remember. Its not that hard but I did know he was drinking at the time. He actually fell asleep during the conversation. Ha. He's an idiot. A very cute idiot. An idiot that I just so happen to like. Hey, its my stupidity, remember? I'm the dumb one who fell for someone who will never fall back. And, if he does, he'd never admit it. But hey, I'm good at this type of stuff. Besides, at least I get hurt this way, right? Right again. Wow, I just re-read that and if it weren't for the fact that I wrote it, I'd be a little freaked out. Anyways, moving on.

Or moving back to that topic. The topic of Craig Jace. The topic I should really stop talking about. I really need a hobby. Oh wait, I have one. Telling him stuff while he's drunk over instant messenger. A conversation that he'll never remember and if he does, he'll deny anything he said. Exactly like he said he would. [facedesk] fuck. my. life. I think I like that saying. aha. alright, enough about him

Just Jordyn

[JORDYN DANIELLE MOORE]

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hating him
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July 2010 @ 8:34pm

i r eally do h ate h im

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. I need.. drugs. I fucking swear. I can't even begin to explain how much I hate him. I could kill him with my bare hands right now. Just strangle his ass. Not even care, either. He's such an ass. To think i actually had feelings for him. Look at me writing in past tense like I don't anymore. fml. I can stop it. I can. I will. If its the last thing I do. I won't like him anymore. I won't care about him. I'll simply let it go. Not care anymore. Never thing about him again.

Wonder how crazy I'll go trying to do that.

Now I guess would be a good time to get into what the bastard did. Well, for starters he begged, yes begged! me to go to that stupid ass bonfire with him. So I went. I knew I shouldn't. I knew how it would end. I was stupid to think that it wouldn't end like that but i knew it would. When we get there, she shows up and he leaves with her, leaving me by myself. My stupid idiotic self figured it might be a good idea to get back at him so I get wasted and flirt with some guy who approached me after he left. That didn't work out exactly how I wanted it. He didn't even notice. He doesn't even care. And the day after sucks. Being hungover is so not fun. I feel like I could die. Just plan out die.

This is why I hate him.

And no I won't mention who he is. He knows who he is. Some words of advice person who will not be named;; go fuck yourself and leave me the hell alone. I want nothing more to do with you. Nothing at all.

Just Jordyn